11/30/2015 1 Comment The Prettiest Little GirlTeaghan is the only baby I ever wanted. That sounds terrible. I know. But let me explain. Having had nearly 6 children now, both Paco and I have found ourselves "surprised" with 5 of the 6 pregnancies. Five separate times we've cried when taking a pregnancy test, or been anxious over how we would handle the journey ahead. Not so with Teaghan. Many people assume we are idiots when it comes to "making babies". The first time around, I could possibly agree, saying we definitely consented without any type of "plan" in place. But every other time, we've made attempts at not getting pregnant. And every time, our attempts have failed. In our favor, I might add. Because every single time we find ourselves overjoyed with a new baby....eventually. And sometimes the eventually comes much later than other times. But with Teaghan, things were different. We both agreed. We both longed for another one. We both prayed and hoped and tried everything we knew, to have her. And up until her arrival, she was easy. We got pregnant the first time we thought about it. We had a super easy pregnancy with her- (of all the kids, though still nauseated, I never actually threw up with her!) Her delivery was a walk in the park. It's true- just ask my friend Megan who swears I ordered pizza through the whole thing. (Ok maybe not that easy, but less than 3 hours, hardly painful, and no interventions at all in a HOSPITAL which is a very VERY big deal.) Since then, she's proven to be the most difficult. She's the most passionate and self-aware 5 year old I've ever met. She sounds like a 16 year old when getting dressed: "These pants feel weird, do they look weird because I feel weird and like everyone will see how weird they are!?!" I laugh and cringe all at the same time. She loves to brush her hair. She loves to wear jewelry. She loves to put on lotion and shoes and lipgloss and to polish her nails. She is a diva. She will sing you a solo and you had BETTER applaud or she will make you give a standing ovation and ask for more. She loves her Bible and the color purple. She loves to worship. She sings new songs out of somewhere dug down deep that I can't see or comprehend- but it's a skill I'm so very thankful she has learned. Most adults can't sing from their soul, and this girl could teach me a thing or two any day of the week. She will pray for you- and make you weep when you hear her sweet spirit beckoning the Spirit to move. Gah. I'm crying now as I write this thinking of her prayers the last few nights over me: "God would you heal my mom so she's now sick anymore. Would you make our new baby strong so we can bring it home with us this time. God we are thankful for everything you give us. Help us be grateful for everything we have..." My heart melts when she lays hands on her brother or sister to pray for them. And my heart breaks when she punches them in the next breath because she's full of angry fury. She's a real-life sour patch kid, and she will woo you with her pretty green eyes set in deep olive skin, and steal your lunch money all in the same swift motion. She is beautiful. Something about her draws compliments from across aisle-ways and counters everywhere. She is incredibly polite, and will pull manners from inside of invisible sleeves. She is also quite blunt. If she waves hello, and you don't say hello back, even a complete stranger, she will call you out in public, and comment on how "rude" you're being to her. She is 5 today. And she will never again be 4. I had to let that sink in for a minute. Happiest of birthday wishes to my sweet Teaghan girl, Teaghan Aracelli, whose eyes shine like diamonds, and whose hugs make the world go away. I love you to the moon and back, with purple sparkles and unicorns for days, girlfriend!
1 Comment
11/1/2015 2 Comments Fighting Like a GirlTears are rolling down my face. It the first time this week I've worn makeup too, which means my mascara is running all down the sides of my cheeks like black tire marks driven in anger. I don't feel good. Strike that. I feel terrible. My stomach hasn't felt "Settled" for about three weeks now. And I'm certain this isn't nearly the end of this thing someone cleverly named "morning sickness". But today, specifically my stomach is in knots. I spent the early hours of today puking, and typically I would've called the entire day quits after such an occurrence. Today, I continued to fight and press through. As I lie on my bed, my stomach still turning, I'm making mental lists of the things I need Paco to do before morning in order to help me manage the other kids. Run to publix for lunch meat. Stock diapers and wipes at the edge of the couch. Fill cups and bottles for easy access. The list goes on and makes my head hurt like my stomach now. It's too much responsibility. It's too hard. And obviously too much to think about right now. I need every ounce of energy I have left to keep my insides in, and not out by way of my throat. But none the less, I still continue to fight, to press through. I'm not a fighter. In fact, if you know me well, you know that I don't even work out. It's exhausting. And quite frankly, I think I'm allergic. (The sweating, red face, increased heart rate were all obvious signs.) But there is One living inside of me who continues to fight. Continues to press through. He pressed through in the moments when my flesh was weakest and engaged in Crimson sin. He fought to bring me salvation. He pressed through in the disastrous financial crisis we've faced through our marriage and with our home. He fought for us and made a way for the miraculous. He pressed through when death was crouched at my door, and later wrapped in my arms, when my daughter took her last breath. He fought to give me hope and security amidst the most uncertain time of my life. And He has proven Himself this way over, and over, and over again. Which makes me certain that He has not stopped fighting even now. Now as I'm nauseated and limp with fatigue, He is fighting for my strength. He is pressing through and bringing me the strength from on high, that comes in the form of rest under His mighty wings. As I anxiously await our first doctor appointment, He is fighting for a good report, though my fears are as deep as water over my head. He pressed through with His voice sure as the Sun rising, and commands health and healing and peace in the safety of His name. And I can feel the fight being put back inside of me. Don't count me out. Because I'm just getting warmed up. And when the enemy tries to overcome and defeat me by whispering all that has been, I'll swing hard and fast with the truth of my Savior, to remind Him of His ultimate destiny. "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities,against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains.Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." -Ephesians 6:10-20 |
AuthorBri is the mom to four little people, the wife to a gentle giant, and a lover of Jesus. She's figuring out the best ways to parent by trial and error, and sharing her struggles, successes, and stories with you! Archives
June 2018
Categories |