9/30/2014 4 Comments Because I can.When I was 21 I gave birth to our first baby girl. I can remember thinking that I couldn't handle what would come "next" just moments before she emerged from my womb- but like all other situations where we seem to think we can't, we can, because of Christ. There have been plenty of "can't"s along the way. I remember laying in bed pregnant with Teaghan, McKenna (only about 9 months old) in the next room sleeping. Paco worked early shifts in the produce department at our grocery store. He would leave around 2:30 or 3:00am to unload and load trucks. Just a few short weeks before, we had come home to our front door, of our second story apartment, broken open with what appeared to be a crowbar, as pieces of wooden door were strewn about the floor and entry way. The police confirmed "they" must've been looking for "someone" rather than "something" because none of the valuable, monetary things in our home had been disturbed, though in plain sight: the large 55 inch flat screen, the almost-new Mac laptop, at the time brand new playstation 3, wallets, purses, etc. Still, I would lay in bed thinking that if "they" ever came back, while I was alone, the only way out was the balcony. I remember thinking "I can't sleep" because the thought of throwing my infant from the balcony first, or shimmying down the two-story wall, pregnant and carrying her in my arms was next to impossible. I would call my dad almost every day around 4:30, completely exhausted, and have him take us to my moms house until Paco got home. When the time came to renew our lease I thought "I can't" or rather "we can't" live like this anymore. I remember when Wesley was just a week or two old, and had just been circumcised, along with a freak episode of the most severe diaper rash I had ever seen- with blisters and bleeding wounds on his poor little bum. To wipe him caused screams from a sweet innocent boy, to diaper him, still no relief. And I remember having to put him in a tub of warm water to "soak" away diaper messes, every single change. Which for a newborn- is a LOT - which is an understatement. I remember thinking "I can't" do this anymore. I can't. I just can't. I remember finding out we were pregnant with Adalynn- to our surprise. Paco had been "pushed" out of a job, and had lost his health benefits. Which meant not being able to have a routine check up, left me without contraception. Only three weeks later, before missing my monthly "visitor", I started puking and gagging at everything. Which lead me to believe I could be pregnant. I remember my sweet friend Sarah telling me, she would buy me a test because she wanted to know so badly. And I remember telling her, "I can't." I told her that if I didn't take the test- maybe- just maybe- I wasn't pregnant- again, for the fourth time in four years. But if I did take the test, it could say "yes" and it was a yes I simply couldn't face. After crying and warring within myself over the next four months, I finally came to terms with the idea of having another baby. But I knew it couldn't be another boy. Wesley was just about 18 months at the time, and boys and girls are much different. Boys have a difficult period where they defy and rebel and disobey more than I can bear, and he was facing those moments at a prime. I remember going into the sonogram thinking "I can't" have another boy. The task seemed to daunting. No matter what people say about girls being more challenging later, in that moment, I knew I couldn't handle another boy. Thank you Lord, it was a girl. A few months went by, fast forward to my 37 week check up. Adalynn was posterior. And my midwife assured me that most babies who are posterior, wait until they can flip into the anterior position, and then "engage labor" quickly. Being that she was my 4th, I did everything I could to change her position, and "engage" her before my due date. Wesley was nearly 3 weeks overdue, and the thought of going three more weeks, let alone late with Adalynn left me again thinking "I can't". I think whether we are parents, believers, grown ups...if we are just plain people, and can call ourselves human, we can find ourselves at more than one juncture- saying "I can't". But the truth of the matter is, that I can. We can. Because He can. Not because I possess some super human ability of my own. Not because you or I will ever be sufficient in our own strength. But because He is able to do it, exceedingly more abundant, than anything we can ask or imagine. I'm writing today as I sit on my couch, laid out for the fifth time. And I'm sick, and nauseated, and without energy. I can honestly say it took both Paco and I by surprise and shock all at the same time. But I can also beyond a shadow of a doubt, tell you I am thrilled that we are pregnant, again. I know, we aren't "average". I know, I'm clearly "outside of my mind". And at first, I, more than anyone else, including you would think, thought "I cant". But after wrestling, and questioning, and telling God how my plan was better, for the fifth time in a row, have been given peace once again. I know that Paco doesn't work a multi-million dollar job, or hardly one that pays 6 figures. Not even close. I know that our house isn't the "right" size for all 5 kids to have their own rooms. I know that our car isn't big enough for 5 car seats. And I like you, I began to think "I can't". But then the Holy Spirit whispers to me that "He will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory". I like you, thought about the emotional toll of raising 5 kids, under 5, and having so many so close together, and how it will be hard and how my hands will be full, and my heart overwhelmed, and again thought "I can't". But then His sweet, and reassuring, still small voice says that "When my heart is overwhelmed, He will lead me to the Rock that is Higher than I". I began to think of all the hurtful, and oblivious, things people would say. Things like "oh wow you're pregnant AGAIN?!?" Or "you certainly have your hands full" or "you guys are like the Brady bunch". Because they've said them at 2, 3, and 4 kids too. I've thought about how moms will judge me for my parenting choices, like handing all the kids a fruit snack or refined sugar as we walk trough target to get one thing. Even if it's the only way I can manage when I'm by myself at the store, and keep everyone quiet and from loosing their minds, because it isn't " organic" or it isn't "healthy". And His power rises up inside of me and says "I am a shield around you, your glory, and the Lifter of your head". I've thought about the aches and pains that come with being pregnant again, for the 5th time in 5 years, and how my body has not yet- ever- had the chance to fully recuperate from the physical toll taken on my hips, back, and stomach. I think about the umbilical hernia I have from Teaghans pregnancy, and how with every pregnancy it gets larger, and my stomach becomes weaker. I think of how my tail bone has been pushed not just out, but to the side, astounding medical professionals, and leaving us both wondering how to "correct it". I think of how I get sick- oh. So. Sick. For a good long time too. Not your typical "morning" sickness, but the kind that lasts all day and night, and makes me lose weight and become unhealthy and thin and frail. The kind that depletes my body of nutrients from not being able to keep food down- regardless of "remedies" or "tricks" that worked for everyone else. I think of the overwhelming fear and phobia I have of medical offices and lab tests, and how I'll have to be poked and prodded, like a heard of cattle for the next nine months to make sure this baby is doing alright. And to all of that I think, "I can not". But once again, faithful and true, He thunders words of wisdom from His word to my spirit that say "yeah, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will NOT be afraid. For He is with me. His rod and His staff comfort me. He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies, and my cup overflows. Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of The Lord, forever". I don't know what you're facing today that seems like you can't, but I'm telling you, by His grace and His sufficiency, you can. I can. And I will. I'm looking forward to the testimony of how my kids changed the world for Jesus, all because I gave of myself to allow them to do that. Not because of my own strength, but because greater is He that is in me, then He that is in the world. If you're thinking "holy cow! That girl is going to need help" you're absolutely right. I need it more now, than after the the baby comes. With my sickness comes the inability to do routine things that are needed for my family of 6, as it is. Things like making dinner and loads of laundry seem daunting and impossible while nauseated. So come on over- help me- and don't judge the condition of our house. Paco has done a fantastic job trying to keep up, while he works full time to support us. It would've such a blessing to have people help us in this season when I physically can't do certain tasks. I would also ask you to pray for me. For our family. That God would continue to reveal Himself, and pour out His grace, as we walk this road. I ask that you be a voice of encouragement, and spur me on as I move onward through this pregnancy. Rather than give my flesh or the enemy room to discourage my soul. I ask that you be excited, and happy, and thrilled with the news, whether you think we are crazy or not- because the one who opens and closes the womb is at work, not you or I, or any man. And by being filled with joy, we support the sovereignty of God, instead of being cynical and critical of His handiwork. The world will have plenty to say, let's not give them more reason to discourage life. And I would ask you to not post it publicly, about me being pregnant. "What?!?" But I just posted a blog about it right? Right. But I don't want people to make assumptions based on comments like "congrats". I want people to read the story I've posted here, and agree, and appreciate the value of it in its fullness. So if you comment, or applaud- say something else- like, "He is so good" so that God gets all the glory, instead of us. Because ultimately, He is good. Even when and while it doesn't seem. He is so good. And who am I to question His goodness, regardless of what it looks like. He certainly knows what He's doing, even if I don't. So I will trust, I will believe, I will hold tight to His word that says "I can"!
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9/27/2014 2 Comments Tricked....for a treat.It's October....which means commercials, advertisements, store fronts, and Facebook are covered with halloween deals, steals, and fun! But is halloween, or All Hallows' eve, as it's historically named, really all it's cracked up to be? There's a lot of controversy surrounding the day when it comes to the church. So I wanted to pick apart why our family- the Curzio's- chooses to not participate. I'm prepared- or preparing- for the flack and comments coming after this read. After all, having an opinion on anything these days leads to scrutiny from all angles. But I want to look at both the physical and spiritual effects of halloween. Do some research on the day. Go ahead- google it. Be careful, you don't want to traipse across a demonic website. But go ahead. What's really wrong with halloween anyways? My argument has been, and will always be: fear. It's a four letter word that's commonplace in our dialogue. "I'm scared of" "I get afraid when" "I'm terrified about" And you can fill in the blank. Both adults and kids say it. Fear has gripped our globe in its grasp, and it's time we looked at the real enemy responsible. Most people, when halloween and church come up, argue demons. They'll argue satanism and witchcraft, and spells and cults. And while I believe that that is a real and negative part of the debate, I think we are going about the discussion all wrong. Halloween in and of itself is a holiday based around fear. The primary purpose is fright as delight. And as a Christian, I have to put my foot down- because we are allowing fear to take over our homes, and halloween is only one of the many avenues fear is allowed to travel. Fear is not of God. In fact the Bible tells us that God hasn't given us fear, but power, love, and a sound mind (2 Tinothy 1:7). So why would I give fear to my kids, apart from God? Is it all in "good fun"? I would argue, that it isn't as fun as we think. In fact, I believe we are harming our kids...both spiritually and physically...by celebrating. One article, posted by NBC a few years back, only agrees with me: ( for the original post click here.) Halloween may be hazardous to kidsBy Heather Whipps LiveScience It is the adults who should be afraid this Halloween. Not of ghouls and goblins, but of psychologically scarring their children. In a recent study of 6- and 7-year-olds in the Philadelphia area, Penn State psychologist Cindy Dell Clark found that most parents underestimate just how terrifying the holiday can be for young kids. Halloween has been scaring the heck out of kids of all ages for centuries. Two thousand years ago, Celts living in what is now the United Kingdom celebrated their new year at the end of October. During these days of transition from the end of summer harvest to the beginning of winter, spirits were thought to roam among the living. The modern customs of candy and costume are rooted in medieval England. To avoid being recognized by the visiting spirits, people would dress up in masks whenever they left home. Bowls of food were placed outside to keep the ghosts happy. The practices have morphed into Halloween as it is known today, with parents encouraging their own little ghosts and goblins to haunt the neighborhood. Unwilling participants? According to Clark, who interviewed parents and children after three Halloweens, younger children may be unwilling participants in the whole ritual. The key ingredient in the recipe of Halloween fright is, of course, death. "Intriguingly, Halloween is a holiday when adults assist children in behaviors taboo and out of bounds," Clark writes in the anthropological journal Ethos. "It is striking that on Halloween, death-related themes are intended as entertainment for the very children whom adults routinely protect." For most kids, at an age when they're often not included in family funerals or witness to grave illnesses, Oct. 31 is often their first introduction to the subjects. Too tender for tombstones? "Children see things on a real plane, as opposed to adults, who are trying to get around real themes like death by treating them as fun," she said. Conducting her study, Clark observed young children cowering from fear in front of the haunted displays and graveyard scenes common in so many American neighborhoods at Halloween. Children interpret the frights of Halloween differently depending on their personal situations, such as the recent death of a relative or pet. An especially harrowing Halloween experience might have long-lasting effects. She recalled an interview with a grown woman who described trick-or-treating at age 8: A well-intentioned neighbor invited the girl inside, only to scare her and a friend with a real coffin displayed in the living room. "She hasn't enjoyed Halloween since," Clark said. The university of minesota does the work, and breaks down fear and it's effects on our physical bodies. "Fear is a human emotion that is triggered by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism that signals our bodies to respond to danger with a fight or flight response. As such, it is an essential part of keeping us safe. However, people who live in constant fear, whether from physical dangers in their environment or threats they perceive, can become incapacitated. How fear worksFear prepares us to react to danger. Once we sense a potential danger, our body releases hormones that slow or shut down functions not needed for survival (such as our digestive system) and sharpen functions that might help us survive (such as eyesight). Our heart rate increases, and blood flows to muscles so we can run faster. Our body also increases the flow of hormones to an area of the brain known as the amygdala to help us focus on the presenting danger and store it in our memory. Effect on thinkingOnce the fear pathways are ramped up, the brain short-circuits more rational processing paths and reacts immediately to signals from the amygdala. When in this overactive state, the brain perceives events as negative and remembers them that way. It also stores all the details surrounding the danger—the sights, sounds, odors, time of day, weather, and so forth. These memories tend to be very durable, although they may also be fragmented. Later, the sights, sounds, and other contextual details of the event can become stimuli themselves and trigger fear. They may bring back the memory of the fearful event, or they may cause us to feel afraid without consciously knowing why. Because these cues were associated with previous danger, the brain may see them as a predictor of threat. This often happens with post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD). For example, a soldier who experienced a bombing on a foggy day might find himself panicking when the weather turns foggy—without knowing why." They continue with the lasting effects on our bodies: "Living under constant threat weakens our immune system and can cause cardiovascular damage, gastrointestinal problems such as ulcers and irritable bowel syndrome, and decreased fertility. Fear can impair formation of long-term memories and cause damage to certain parts of the brain, such as the hippocampus. This can make it even more difficult to regulate fear and can leave a person anxious most of the time. To someone in chronic fear, the world looks scary and their memories confirm that. Moreover, fear can interrupt processes in our brains that allow us to regulate emotions, read non-verbal cues and other information presented to us, reflect before acting, and act ethically. This impacts our thinking and decision-making in negative ways, leaving us susceptible to intense emotions and impulsive reactions. All of these effects can leave us unable to act appropriately. Other consequences of long-term fear include fatigue, clinical depression, accelerated ageing, and even premature death. So whether threats to our security are real or perceived, they impact our mental and physical wellbeing." If fear is real, and damaging at the least to our physical bodies, as a parent, I want to know how to better protect and safe-guard my own kids from fear. Below is a chart that summarizes the fears children experience by age, that are considered "normal", According to the Child Anxiety Network. Meaning that all children feel anxiety or discomfort in relation to these subjects, at each of the given ages.
As young kids, some fears are going to occur without my introduction of them. (Like the dark) Why would I want to exaggerate or exploit my kids' fears of things like death, ghosts, monsters, the dark- at such ages through the "celebration" of these things? Because halloween is just that: a celebration of death, ghosts, monsters, an the dark. "It's just pretend though!" Is the next argument that comes up for those who are in support of celebrating the day of All Hallows' eve. But can our kids make the judgement call in their small, developing brains, about what is pretend and what isn't? Phsycology today gives us a clearer picture of how and why kids see fear as a bigger reality than adults: "What we know is that children of different ages perceive media in different ways:
Sadly, the effects aren't only seen in children either. Adults exhibit responses to fear, in both spiritual and physical ways as well. The following are real life stories from people who worked in a haunted house, and watched first-hand the damaging effects of fear on not only children, but people of all ages. "I was dressed as a vampire and standing in a coffin. When people would come around the corner, I would jump out and scare them. A woman came through and I jumped out. The woman lets out this piercing scream and jumps backwards. She hit the wall so hard she dented it pretty badly. She kept screaming and wouldn’t stop. She was hyperventilating, crying, on and on. I was afraid to approach her and make it worse. I had to completely drop character and tell one of the guests to go get an uncostumed worker to assist her." " Another girl working there was supposed to be on a bathtub with a rope around her neck loosely. But she slipped and ended up hanging herself. Luckily, another one of the employees noticed while walking through and got her down before she died." "I’ve worked at Scream World in Houston for 2 years in a row and while working in the slaughterhouse, playing the victim, I scared a lady so bad she started throwing up everywhere." " I saw someone OD right in front of me. I’ve had others just freak out and fight the Scareactors, some drop into a corner sobbing and have to be carried out." "A lot of families went through the haunt and the kids were horrified by the zombies. A lot of kids would just be losing their minds when they got to the exit" "The kids would be freaking out and the same thing would happen over and over. The parents would say “It’s ok! It’s over, look see….it’s the end!” And the kids would be relieved and they would run for the door." Now- as I say with all of my posts, my primary target audience, is the believer. So... Let's look at the spiritual side of halloween. For the sake of the Christian family. Most argue that halloween is all "good fun" and "about the candy" and that nothing truly evil is coming about in the harmless practice of dressing in fun costumes and masks and charging around with local neighbors. But it's much more than a "game" or "party" for witches, wizards, warlocks. Those things aren't really real are they? Yes. Contrary to popular belief, cults, covens, and satanist groups are very much alive and working, and their primary night of practice is that of All Hallows' eve. "Texe Marrs, well known New Age researcher said this about the activities of witches on Halloween: Our own research confirms that on this unholy night [Halloween], witches' covens meet, drink, dance, spit out curses and spells, conjure up spirits, engage in sexual orgies, induct new members, and offer up animal and human sacrifices. (Witches have become expert at covering up these sacrifices by use of cremation ovens and the use of privately owned land preserves for disposal of bodies in deeply dug graves.)" Take a first hand look for yourself. Here's a testimonial of a former satanist. Someone who modern-day practiced things of the demonic realm. Obviously- and intentionally- this story ends with the gospel, and the gentleman gives his life to Jesus. But what took place in his life prior to his redemption, and even partly after- was from his direct involvement with the devil. It seems foreign to talk of such a power as if it's here for real. But we have to grapple with the idea that as much as God is holy and majestic, and good- the opposite is just as demonic, pagan, and evil. We see glimpses of the enemy all around us in the filth on tv commercials, the lyrics in current top billboard songs, and plastered on the internet as sex, drugs, and alcohol. He's revealing himself through cancer, suicide, terrorism, and injustice both domestically and abroad. He's cleverly disguised himself as "natural" fear, panic, rage, anger, and worry. And we can't pretend he's not a force that's real and powerful. Because it is. That's not to say Gods power is not greater, stronger, and more glorious. It just means we cannot tamper with a spiritual evil that we believe is less powerful, in hopes that it has no power at all. "Witches and warlocks, vampires and evil spirits, these all sound like fanciful characters for many of today's popular books and movies, the harmless imaginings of a creative mind. But the occult and many of it's features are anything but fiction. The world of mysterious powers and frightful incantations exist as more than some plot device in some best selling novel. It exists here in our world and in our day to day lives. People are fascinated and drawn to these dark parts of life and always have been." Said well by Darris McNealey. He continues... "It's all in good fun when used to teach children it's ok, there's no problems many reason, or is there? We'll see what Mary has to say in a moment. More recently vampires have been given a new lease on life within the stories told in books and movies of high school youth and love and romance. Vampires and the dark side are given the face of youth and the same themes of evil verses good. Immortality and dark sinister forces are sanitized within the context of adolescent love romance and desire. Granted these are powerful themes that make compelling stories and a lot of people maybe even you or your children or your grand children have been caught up in the stories and find them entertaining and perhaps profitable. A popularity and commercial success of evil in today's culture testifies to the truth that people today cannot discern between good and evil. The Bible says... Isaiah:5:20 "Woe to those who call evil good and good evil, who put darkness for light and light for darkness, who put bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter." The growing popularity and commercial success of Halloween has made this annual holiday second only to Christmas as a boom for retailers. Think about that, second only to Christmas in retail sales. Why is this? People want to have a good time. They want to be entertained and in some cases they want to explore things they don't understand seeking meaning, power or control. And they don't care where they find it but they and you should care. There are forces in this world that you should not want to be near. Evil does exist, evil is not an intellectual discussion or a board game or a harmless feature of popular culture. Evil exists and you should understand the perils of dabbling with this dark side of reality. It goes by many different names, channeling, fortune telling, Wicca, divination, sorcery, magic, call it what you will. The truths that hide behind the shrouds of mysticism are unsettling at best and disastrous at their worst. If you don't believe me would you believe first hand someone who knows first hand about evil power, someone who was immersed in witchcraft and evil? In order to understand the inner workings of this strange and mysterious world I interviewed a former witch, we'll call her Mary. Mary spent twenty years learning and practicing the pagan rituals involved in tarot card reading and fortune telling, voodoo, casting spells". Witchcraft is a very real power, occurring in October of 2014. It's not an outdated practice from eons ago, that's dead and mythical. So what's a Christian to do? In a world where all of our should, would, could choices are scrutinized for motive and judged for morality.... First I would say pray. Pray and ask God, what He thinks about it. As Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 10:23, all things are permissible, but not all are beneficial. Is it an experience and a tradition that will bring your family closer to the cross with each party, each costume, each bag of candy. If it truly is about the candy- then go blow a paycheck on multi-colored and shaped sugars that will rot your dental work! Then, search out the word. The Bible is our sole instruction book and map for living this life. The Bible says that His word is a lamp and a light to our feet and path- should we not know where to go, it will illuminate the portion of the road that's dim, giving us a clearer picture of what God ultimately desires for us as His kids. For our family personally, I've come across the words "fear not" and have to head these words- not as a rule that's followed with regret and painstaking grief- but as a word of caution....just like premarital sex is not ok, not because God wants to remove fun from my life, but because He has the best in mind, and knows that premarital sex comes with baggage, and shame, and consequences He doesn't want me to bear. Of which I have first hand experience. The words "fear not" or for other translations, "do not be afraid" are in the Bible 365 times. Some say that's reason enough to live everyday without fear. I can't help but take notice that it's written so many times, as more than merely a suggestion. I don't think that God meant the inspired word to read: "if you feel like it, fear not." Or "if you want to, then do not be afraid." Or "I'm suggesting you not be afraid, but it's optional". And ironically we place that optional option, on most scripture. To our own detriment. A.W. Tozer said that "What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." Because if what we think about God is not shaped by the truth of the word, then we will re-interpret or re-shape the truth to fit what we want. I can't sit and take that portion of scripture (which is quite large) as a suggested phrase, or else the phrases that are "pivotal" to the central gospel message become optional too. Verses like John 3:16, that God loved the world, or Philippians 4:13 that I can do all things through Christ. Verses like revelation 1:7, that says Jesus is coming again. 1 John 1:1 says that the "Word was with God and the word was God" means that the Bible, which is Holy and inspired by His spirit, means that if I add or subtract pieces I want or don't like or prefer, I am changing the character of who God is, based on my human and finite reasoning, understanding, and preference. That also means the parts that say witchcraft, sorcery, spirits of evil, divination, wizardry, magic, and death- are not of God. We are told in John that God gives "Life and, life to the fullest". Which is the very opposite of what is celebrated by patrons and society during the commercialized halloween holiday. Halloween is a representation, a celebration, of darkness, death, and fear. I know, the next thing will be from the "scholarly" who will say, if you look at halloween as a pagan celebration, then Christmas is pagan too. To that I would say- you're absolutely right. If we look at the history and the context of why and what brought about Christmas, you'll find wickedness at the center. And to that, I would say, so what. I'm not here to win the approval of every person on the planet. What I do know, is that I want every experience and tradition that I participate in, and include my children in, to be - and will be- those that draw us nearer to Jesus. For us, Christmas is about Jesus and how He came to earth as a man, to set in motion a plan of redemption, that without- I would be dead to sin. Easter represents Jesus' death, burial, and resurrection, and what a triumph over death that was, and a celebration of victory for our family- and the church- and the world! Halloween has no such meaning. It doesn't have a thread of possibility to lead me closer to Jesus and so we choose not to celebrate. I'm not here to make up a rule book for us all to follow. I just want to caution us as believers, to be watching and to be vigilant against the schemes of the enemy- whether they look like a tv show, a holiday, or something else. Is halloween a salvation issue? No. I don't think that the people who get to heaven will be separated into groups of those who celebrate vs those who don't. But I do know that I want to run the race, full steam ahead, without distractions, hindrances, and all the while, training and teaching my kids to love Jesus without compromise, so that on the glorious return on my Savior, I hear Him say to me "well done, good and faithful servant". The enemy has come to steal, kill, and destroy....and if he came with a machete, a net, and openly shared his ideas, it wouldn't exactly tangle us up. If we have to take time to recognize the enemy, it's because he comes and tricks us. He's good at presenting a counterfeit that looks real- or else we wouldn't find ourselves amidst sin. Don't be tricked by him, for a small treat of candy, pictures, or a costume. It's time the church took back what the enemy stole, and be a light amidst the darkness, both on October 31st, and every other day of the year. I pray you'll do the same. 9/24/2014 0 Comments TantrumsI had a mom-friend text me last week, asking how we handle tantrums at our house. I wanted to say "oh, what on earth is a tantrum? My children never rebuttals against what's asked of them!" But that would be a giant lie with nothing being farther from the truth. Because just like any 2, 3, 5 year old....all of my kids have their "moments". Yeah they have moments of peace, joy, sharing, kindness....moments that make me beam proudly as a mother. But for the majority of "moments", they whine, complain, question, refute, debate, and argue. I was told somewhere along the droads of parenting advice, that if we as parents, were consistent with what we did, said, conveyed....that 95% of our discipline training would be complete by age 5. Which I am so excited to say, (even though it's only been about 5 weeks since our oldest turned 5) has proven to be true. The tantrums, the outbursts, the disobedience from McKenna has dwindled to a fragment of what it was. That doesn't mean she never goes against what's told of her, but she is coming into a new season, where all of our hard work as parents- The telling them "no" 100 times in 5 minutes. The walking over the remove them from the escalating situation 100 times. The discipline, by whatever means the circumstance warrants, over and over and over 100 times. -Is paying off. It's working. The days are long, but the years are short, and I am rejoicing in the new season where McKenna is "growing in stature and wisdom and favor". So this is my little plug that has nothing to do with this post: keep up the good work mommas! Being consistent pays off! And the time is coming when your littles will get it. When they will listen. When they will oblige with joy, whatever task you've asked of them! Rant over. So my friend asked- amidst a tantrum at her house- "do you allow tantrums at your house?" Allow? No. Absolutely not. Do they happen? Heck yes. More than I would like to admit. So what then? When the crying begins because you said "no". Or sometimes "yes", like when it's cleaning their room, or gathering their things, or going to bed. I want to preface the rest of this with: my posts are primarily for the believer. The self-proclaimed Christian, who uses the Word of God as a moral compass and standard. If you aren't a Christian, I can't give you much of an answer, at least that is guaranteed, because there isn't one. I'm still waiting for the "guaranteed, fool-proof, money-back promise" that there's a way to train and raise kids on our own, that gives the exact results promised in the end, in every situation, every walk of life, every household-regardless. So keep that in mind. As believers, we turn to the bible as our instruction book. Praise The Lord. I don't know about you, but my kids - in both my hospital births and home birth- did not come with an instruction booklet, manual, or library -as would seem more fitting. The idea of parenting is a gamble. But the bible gives us a promise to hold on to. Ready? Proverbs 22:6 says "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." That is good news for us as parents! It's a promise from the word, that we can take to the bank! So what does that look like? Well....I will tell you this: training doesn't mean taking your kids to church. Training doesn't mean mentioning a bible verse every now and again. It also doesn't mean praying for meals. That's religion at its finest, and I guarantee your kids will be repulsed by it, and run far away when they are able. Train means to teach (a person or animal) a particular skill or type of behavior through practice and instruction over a period of time. Or point or aim something, typically a gun or camera, at. To train our kids, means pointing then to Jesus, over a period of time, teaching them skills and behaviors through practice and instruction.....over and over an over again. Every. Stinking. Day. That sounds like lots of work. It is. Parenting is lots. And lots. And lots of work. But the promise and guarantee, of the bible, is that hard work will pay off. Is there an element out of our control? You better believe it. That's why as parents we need to be praying and seeking and fasting for our kids, on our knees, stretched out on our faces, day in and day out, beseeching the throne of the Most High, emploring Him to draw them to Himself in due time. Please don't underestimate the power of either portion. It's our hard work, coupled with His grace and sovereignty, that bring about Jesus-believing-following-living kids. My part as a mom is to work my butt off, training my kids in the things of God, and praying that God will do His part- and then trusting He will, even if it doesn't look like redemption at first. So what does instruction, and teaching look like at 3,4,5? How do we do that? I mean obviously, we need to, but are they too small to be instructed from the Word? I say no. The Bible tells us in Psalm 119:11 that if we hide the Word in our hearts, that we won't sin. Then my goal as a parent is to get the word in the hearts of my kids. I have to show them, tell them, teach them, instruct them, model to them.....to get it in their hearts. They can learn their ABC's and "sing it by heart". They know the latest theme songs to their favorite shows or movies "by heart". So why can't they learn the bible down in their hearts? I know and understand that memory is not revelation....but I have to trust that one day they will make those connections based on life experiences. I cannot bring revelation to them, that is up to the Holy Spirit. So back to tantrums as the example. I'm going to use Teaghan as my example, because she has a dramatic personality that lends itself to tantrums easily. More than any of the other kids, we have to work with her on how to handle emotion. She will be my diva for life, and with that comes certain pains and gains. So let's say, someone is playing with a toy that she had about 10 minutes ago, and although she put it down and wasn't actively playing with it, in her little mind she thinks "I had that first". This is a real example that happens almost everyday at our house. Laugh it up! So Teaghan's natural response is to scream out at whoever took it, stomp her feet on the ground, start crying, sit her bottom on the carpet, and kick her legs and pound her fists. Classic tantrum right there. So I'll get up, walk over, and pull her away from the situation. I'll say something like "Teaghan, please come with me". So she's away from the situation that's causing her frustration. Usually, this happens in the girls' bedroom, so I'll use my bed as the place of retreat- but on the off chance the incident happened somewhere else, she goes to her own bed. I'll tell her to take a few minutes and calm down. (Insert verse about a soft answer turns away wrath). She isn't allowed to get up when she's calm. I'll come in to talk with her once she's calm. We don't entertain the outburst. We don't allow it to continue. We don't allow an audience. Usually kids break out for attention, and I don't want to give them any attention for negative behavior- or I'm reinforcing that attitude. So I'll walk away, and she will calm down. There have been days when I have to go back in and remind her to calm down. Or days she gets up and I have to go back in, take her hand, an make her sit back down. But being consistent is key. There are days, and usually, they're when I'm in the middle of a poopy diaper elsewhere, or using the restroom myself- when I can't get to the tantrum immediately. It happens. And sometimes- it's rare- but sometimes things have gotten so far out of control, that she is screaming and crying so hard, she's gagging herself, or swinging he arms, or won't sit down. What then? On those days, she needs assurance that someone is on her side. That someone understands. So I'll sit with her, tightly wrapped in my arms, until she breaks her will and calms down. I think in five years of parenting I've had to do that maybe- 3 times. So it's rare. But our kids get overworked sometimes, and need assurance that regardless of how out of control they are, that we will be there with open arms to embrace them during their worst moments. If I teach them that lesson at 3, when they are 23, and have screwed up, they will retreat back to my arms- or hopefully- to the arms of their Heavenly Father, who will always have His arms open to them. So now she's calmed down, and I'll go in, sit next to her, and talk calmly. I might say something like "Teaghan, we don't have an attitude like that at our house. We don't scream like that. We do not kick our legs or stomp our feet when we are angry". Get specific. They're kids, and they need to know what- specifically- they did wrong. If I say "we don't act like that". I've left too much to be assumed by a 3 y/o and I'm not doing my best to train her. Then I'll give her specific instruction on what she should do. "Teaghan, when you're angry, you need to stay calm". "when you can't do it, ask for help". "If someone does something you don't like, ask nicely" or "come tell mom". Giving her specifics on what she should do the next time. If she's screaming still, she isn't going to catch any of the things I'm saying. That's why it's so important to let them cool off first. Now I can let her go. I could say "ok, we are done here." But the next time the incident happens, I haven't equipped her with the tools to change her heart. I've merely taught her how to monitor her behavior. What a dangerous world we live in, where people have learned to monitor behavior, over attitudes of the heart. It's why we see pastors forsaking their families for homosexual relationships. It's why politicians cheat on their wives. It's why the most holy of families seems well for years and years, and then suddenly, sin that is large and prominent, takes over. We've learned as a culture to "act" a certain way, all the while our hearts are "deceitful and wicked, who can know them?" I have to give my kids the moral reason why, in order to equip them with the tools for later. At three, they may not actually change their heart. But my goal as a parent is to give them the moral reason why, like a library catalogue in their conscience. So that one day, when they're 10, 11, 12...or 31,32,33....they can pull that reasoning down from the shelves later in life, when I'm not there to give them the answer. The only way to do that is with THE word. Not my words. Not James Dobson's word....the Bible. So for Teaghan, right now....she's been learning "do everything without whining or complaining". She knows it. And every chance I remember, we say it together. Even when she doesn't need it. When she wakes up, in the car, at the store, before bed, at dinner time....and then when we get to a tantrum- she knows it. It's in there. She can say it "by heart". Here's a few of my favorites, which we use at our house OFTEN: We "prefer others" (Philippians 2:3) so we need not be selfish, greedy, rude, or anything else that doesn't prefer another over self. We "obey our parents in The Lord, for this is right" (Ephesians 6:1) so we do what mom and dad ask. We "love one another"(John 13:34) so we need to love everyone we meet, our family, and friends. We "do everything without whining or complaining" (Philippians 2:14) so we don't need to whine about small things. We know that "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind", And "even though I walk through the valley of the shadows, I will not be afraid, for You are with me" (psalm 23:4) so we don't need to be afraid of shadows and the dark. We know that "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" (psalm 23:1) when we are at the store, and want things we don't need. The list continues. So what about issues that come up, where I don't know what the bible says? That's a perfect opportunity to get in the Word, and find out. Training our kids in the way of following Jesus, will require us to follow Jesus ourselves. It's a lot of work. I get it. But it's worth it. Because there will be a day, when our kids can reach up into their moral compass- their personal library" of books and knowledge- that we've stored away for years and years, and pull them out and use it....which translates to wisdom. And I want my kids to ultimately grow in wisdom. The bible says that the fear of The Lord, is the beginning of wisdom. So to teach my kids to honor and respect Jesus is first. We do that by praying before we eat, not running in church, closing our eyes and joining in while we pray, and putting Jesus first in all we do. But secondary to that, I need to give them the information to know right from wrong when my physical presence leaves in moments as they get older. The moments in school when other kids are cheating on a test. The moments at a movie, when inappropriate scenes are displayed. The moments when they're given a chance to compromise and give excuses and lie and steal and disrespect another. In those moments, the words that I've worked so hard to put in their little hearts, will grow like a seed, and flourish, for them to use the principles of the word of God, to make the right choices in the face of the enemy. I hope this post was helpful in more ways than one. I know for the specific person I was talking with, her son was much older than my 3 y/o. At an age where they're able, teach them to look up what the Bible says on their own. Have them write it down. Post it somewhere everyone will see it, often. Maybe on the door frame, or on a mirror in the bathroom. Every time you pass is, say it out loud. Let your older kids take ownership of their spiritual growth. But most importantly, we have to model it. We can't expect our kids to live as Christ, if the primary example they've seen has been wishy-washy and not consistent. Be consistent in your discipline. Be consistent in your promises. But mostly, be consistent in your faith. As true as time, having an opinion generates approval and war from the masses. Especially in 2014. I think as a human race, we've expanded our knowledge of the world and life lessons, and consequently given ammunition to every side of every argument. We can't pretend to not have an opinion either, because the minute another is shared, I, you, we immediately begin to pick up our "guns" of reason and point out what is, isn't, or shouldn't be true based on our filter of the world. I say filter because with anything, anyone person is subjective to their own perspective. Be it your upbringing, your personality, morals & beliefs, experiences. I try my darnedest to shape my perspective through the filter of the Word. "Try" being the key word. I rely on Grace to smother my intentions with what's right, but in all I do, say, believe - I have to do my best to press it through the truth of the Word, like hot water being pressed through coffee grounds and into a filter just the same. Can you imagine brewing coffee without a filter? Awful doesn't even begin to describe the atrocity. Bits of hard granular substance hindering the smooth, bold, refined liquid. I'm no coffee expert, but I know how to ruin a good pot of coffee: Poke a hole in the filter. Which is exactly what's happening all over the world, western culture...the web actually. We've been poking holes in the framework of people. I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to condemn you. Even though at times I may think I'm here to correct you -or "help" you (which is how I persuade my husband into thinking I'm not as "correcting" as I actually am) -or guide you. That's not my job. Unless of course you ask. In which case I will, do my best to tell you what I know to be true about life, Jesus, being a mom. But you need to ask. I have to wait for you to ask. That doesn't mean I'll quit blogging. It doesn't mean I won't share what I believe. That's cowardly. But I believe that me and you need to control how we say, post, blog AT other people. It doesn't do any good- for anyone- to poke holes in filters. Not you. Not I. Not anyone. Because when we do that- we are just creating a mess. We leave a pile of coffee grounds in the thick of someone else's cup, we leave a mess in the basket where the filter broke- and a mess all the way to the garbage can - where we dump the grounds after the damage. Nothing good comes from broken filters. When the Holy Spirit does His job of changing what our filter looks like- and hopefully you allow Him to do that- He does it so very well. In fact, he doesn't just rip a gaping hole in it, and leave you to clean up the mess and patch the hole with another experience. No. Far from it. The Holy Spirit who is our comforter gives gentle and quiet conviction, and molds us into a new shape, a new creation, and allows our "filter" to look more like Jesus. When you or I or anyone else tries to "shape" said filters of others' hearts, we find ourselves tangled in a mess of reasoning, of flesh and self- and we cause rips that are bigger than intended. We leave behind finger prints of our humanity, pieces of flesh from the battle, wounds too big to heal with a simple "I didn't mean that". The only way our words, our posts, or discussions, can become beneficial when debated and picked through...is if we are in relationship outside of the post. In the last month or so, I've received countless amounts of feedback on various posts. Both good, bad, ugly, and up-lifting. Some people agree. More disagree. Most are bullies. And I'm not writing this post to passively say "I don't like you anymore and you're not coming to my birthday party". I'm writing to say "I'm guilty too, let's do better." In writing to say, "I don't want to offend- because my filter has been shaped by the Holy Spirit, who says 'be careful to offend another'". And I hope you'll do the same. The only way we can be accountable to posts made online- and have it be beneficial- is to be in relationship. Accountability is dependent on relationship. Not the kind that "likes" posts and "comments" on pictures. The kind where we do life together so often, that you see my in, out, up, down, daily grind. Not just the highlight reel of Facebook or Twitter. When we try to hold each other accountable without relationship- we are actually bullying. Myself included. I won't be telling you how much I disagree with your stance on parenting, on marriage, on Christianity or womanhood- if I don't have a growing life-walk with you. Because that's not edifying. And certainly not becoming. If I really want to speak truth in love- then I have to love you first. Not the kind that says "I love you so much I have to tell you you're wrong" but the kind that says "I will love in spite of our disagreements, so we can better each other's lives mutually". I don't allow just anyone to speak into my life, and take it to heart- and I pray you don't either. I have to spend countless hours reminding, encouraging, aligning myself with the word and His Spirit, in today's culture- because it's all too easy to loose the sound of His voice amidst the kids, the tv, the internet, and life. I don't need to hear another voice "pretending" to be the Holy Spirit for me, elsewhere. If I'm doing life with you, and I see the Holy Spirit in you, I will ask you to speak into my life. I'll encourage you to help "shape" my filter. But unless I ask. Or you ask me. We've become professional bullies, rather than accountability partners. It's a disgrace, because none of us wants to be a bully. To have our kids bully others or to be bullied themselves is unacceptable. Just look at all the national attention bullying has received lately. It's all negative. No one in their right mind "likes" a bully. Ask a parent who's child has been bullied by another- and they'll tell you it's irrevocable damage. There's not a price to pay that can fix the broken. As moms we've become the best undercover bullies ever. We've cleverly disguised our "stances" as "parenting" while peering down our noses AT moms who do things different. Moms who breastfeed vs moms who formula feed. Moms who let babies cry it out and those who don't. Moms who vaccinate and moms who don't. Moms who homeschool, and moms who don't. Moms who spank and moms who don't. We've organized our parenting thoughts into cute little "pins" or "blog posts", all the while excluding the "other" moms who do things differently. And I for one have had enough. Who the flip cares??? Are you doing the absolute best you can, with your kid, with your family, by the means you have available, the time, for you? Then A freaking plus. If you're a Christian - and you proudly display it, and something critical to salvation like "there's another way to God than Jesus" comes up, I might try to show you in the word, why that's not so great and would probably break Gods heart. But other than "eternal" issues....who cares? I'm not saying we shouldn't have those kinds of conversations- where we study and hash out the truth of the bible. But let's do it with the community of believers in our daily lives. Because to be honest, they're the ones who will be able to call me on the real issues as they happen. Issues like not loving the store clerk when she's taking too long. Issues like cutting down another person because my attitude is out of whack. Issues like "you wrote something in your blog post that is kinda mean" type stuff. Which is why community with other believers is so so sooooooo very important. (But that's another blog post!) All I'm saying is I'm going to try, my hardest- to love and speak good and assume the best, and encourage, uplift, and pray for- all the mommas. Regardless of their perspective or parenting style. That's my job. If I need correcting: the people close to me will gladly point it out, an I'll gladly accept the correction. And if you need correcting: I'll leave it for the people in your life that you've selected to be in community with, who know your life, and know your habits, to point out what they see. Accountability cannot supersede relationship. They are dependent upon each other. And "accountability" outside of relationship, is nothing more than flesh-eating-flesh, self-centered, self-absorbed, prideful bullying. And I want the offering of my life poured out, to be sweet, and pleasant to anyone who drinks. But mostly to Jesus. Bullying does not do that. It leaves filters with holes. And the result is broken filters, that can't strain out the granular, which leaves nasty, gritty coffee for others to drink. Let's encourage each other. Let's be women, mothers, people who love each other. Because when we do that, then we allow the Holy Spirit to do His job- shaping the hearts of others, without the damage. 9/12/2014 0 Comments Foodie FridayAs much as I love cooking and baking, I'm surprised I don't have a blog on that. But, I don't have time for another. So I've decided to post a recipe on Fridays, in honor of my food love, and share these scrumptious and easy meals with you moms, as encouragement, that even with kids, you can eat well, and eat good! Today's post is pan-fried pork chops, with balsamic mixed greens, and sweet potato purée. It's delicious. If you think it looks delicious, know that it tastes even better! Here's what you'll need! For the potatoe purée: - 4-6 large sweet potatoes, peeled, and chopped into 1-inch pieces. - 6 tablespoons of butter - 1/4 cup brown sugar - 3 tablespoons maple syrup - 1 teaspoon of cinnamon (or a blend of cinnamon, clove, ginger, nutmeg- choose your favorite or what you have on hand!) - salt and pepper Toss all the ingredients into a baking dish, preferably glass, and place in a 425° oven for about 25-30 minutes, until the potatoes are tender. This is just enough time to prepare the chops. For the pork chops: - 4-6 boneless pork loin chops, preferably with a band of fat around at least one side/edge. - 1 cup all purpose flour - 3 large eggs - 1 and 1/2 cups plain panko breadcrumbs - olive oil, canola oil, butter, or a been of these for frying. (About 4 tablespoons total) -salt and pepper In a large non-stick skillet, heat the oil of choice on medium heat, until a light sizzle is achieved when a single breadcrumb is dropped in the pan. (Too hot and the chops will burn, too cold and they will end up greasy!) In three separate bowls, set up a standard "dredge" assembly line. One bowl with flour, one with the eggs- cracked and whisked to combine, and another with the breadcrumbs. Add a pinch of salt and pepper to each dish to ensure seasoning of the chops. Then, remove chops from butcher packaging, and lightly salt and pepper both sides. Dredge the chops, by coating in flour, then eggs, the breadcrumbs. Once the chops are coated, slowly add them to the skillet when the oil is heated. Let them turn golden brown on each side. (About 3-4 minutes on each side). Transfer to a baking dish, or if your skillet can go in the oven- simply transfer the skillet- to a preheated oven, at 350°, for about 7-10 minutes(depending on the thickness of the chops). While they bake, prepare the purée. Using a blender, add the potatoes and any juices from baking, along with a pinch of salt and pepper, and begin blending as you add 2/3 cup of heavy cream or half and half to the pour spout. The mixture should be smoothe and free of lumps. Set aside in a serving dish, while you toss the salad. (At this point, the chops should be finished cooking, and should rest to redistribute juices from cooking) Toss one large tub of mixed greens (purchased at the store or a mix of your own favorites) in a owl with balsamic vinagrette at the bottom. For the dressing: 4 tablespoons olive oil 3 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 1/2 teaspoon of black pepper 1/4 teaspoon salt Whisk to combine, and then toss the greens with the dressing. Smear the potatoe purée on the bottom of the plate, add the chop, and pile the greens high for lots of drama! I also added a croissant, premade from the grocery! It's delicious and super easy! Enjoy! 9/8/2014 2 Comments Blessed Is She - Week 1As promised, I am posting the "Blessed Is She" Life Group materials for anyone to use- for whatever reasons. Maybe you live a long way from SW Florida, or maybe you can't meet at the time the group does. I want to encourage you to still be a part and join me, here on the blog! For the lesson's audio clip, fill out the "contact" form on the contact page tab, and simply request it! I will gladly send it to your email, as the blog format does not allow an audio clip posting at this time. 9/1/2014 0 Comments Challenge Accepted.I was challenged on facebook to do the "7 days of grattitude" challenge...and well, while I am uber thankful for lots, it's quite time consuming to post or remember to post, everyday to facebook about it.
So I thought I would knock out all seven days in one post, and I'll tag the lovely people who need to do the same, in the post, on facebook, once I've shared this blog. Here it goes! 1.) Jesus Christ and His redemtive rescue that happened for me on the cross. I am living proof that God can take a broken and filthy mess of a person, and make them into something of beauty. He not only redeems his bride to Himself, but restores what the enemy steals, kills, and destroys, into better, more beautiful, and more valuable thanbefore. 2.) My lovely husband. He relieves me when I'm loosing my mind, he helps was the big dishes by hand, that don't fit in the dishwasher (which I hate doing!) He cleans all puke in our house (another task I just hate and cannot do). He also deals with the garbage, the garage, car maintanence, and other "manly" tasks that I will never have a desire for. He's faithful to Jesus and me, and his kids. He makes cute babies...and he's everything I ever prayed for or imagined in a husband: tall, dark, and handsome. And he's also pretty good in bed, so I can't really complain. (That may or may not explain why we have 4 kids under 5.) 3.) I'm thankful for Starbucks. I know I know, they use products that aren't "crunchy" but I DON'T care. All that processed deliciousness and super concentrated caffiene is not only declicious, it's also been my lifeline for the last five years as I've faced sleep-deprivation on a new level. God gave someone the idea to invent the Caramel Machhiato, and also the Pumpkin Spice Latte, and for that I am ever so grateful. 4.)Our home. Regardless of where it is, or the physical address, God has blessed our family with a "home". That is the community within our four walls. Given the current time, I am also thankful for the residence we currently own. At 25, and 29, my husband and I became home-owners, and I love our house. It has a beautiful kitchen, a guest bath (because the condition of the kids or ours can be hazardous at any given time), and a lovely giant tub for long days when I need to sit and soak away the cares of life. 5.) Song. Yes, I sing and sing well, but this can be a gift to the musically challenged as well. I am thankful for new songs that my kids or myself make up during the day, songs of sadness when life is hard, and melodies that carry our thoughts to the heavens. I am thankful that we are able to lift our voices to join creation in praising our Father, Maker, King, Savior, Redeemer, Restorer, Rebuilder, Rewarder....Only a God like Him is worthy of Praise. 6.)I am thankful for bleach, lysol, windex, or anything heavenly scented for cleaning purposes. I live in a house with four kids and one adult that smear germs, dirt, boogers, filth EVERYWHERE. To have an array of cleansers that kill and destroy dirt is a godsend, and I will never underestimate the power of a clean home. 7.)I am thankful for our health. Our whole family has been blessed with good health. No one has a severe illness, dibilitating disease, life long sentence of poor mental, physical, or emotional well-being. We all have had nothing more than common colds, or the occasional virus. No one has severe allergies, or reactions. No one is on medication or suffers from recurring problems. None of us has had bad backs, legs, brains, or bodily functions. Even my pregnancies went better than average. And that has been not just a blessing for our bodies, but also for our pocketbooks, because we have no large medical bills. 8.) McKenna Naomi. She is the true embodiment of a "first-born" child. She leads, and concerns for everyone and anything around her. She is smart and witty, and full of life. She is obedient, and thrives on affirmation from everyone of value to her. She is a problem-solver, and a calculated risk-taker, much like me. She is outgoing like her dad, and has the potential to surpass us both. She loves Jesus, and tells the world about him at every chance she gets. She teaches me more about God and how to evangelize that I could ever learn from a book or how-to video. She is my real-life picture of grace, as she made me a mom, and was also my gift amidst sin. She is not a product of my short-comings, rather a product of mercy, which I do not deserve. 9.) Teaghan Aracelli. This girl is my life-size baby doll. She is a diva to say it lightly. She has passion for fashion, and doesn't care about anyone else's opinion. She sets her mind to something and won't rest until it's accomplished. She would rather wear a tutu, than anything else. She loves to sing and shout, and isn't afraid to be loud. She is funny and a joke-ster. She likes to make jokes and joke on people. She is a drama queen, and has helped me to relate to other girls who possess emotional landscapes I know nothing of. She has a wide ray of emotions herself, and swings heavily from one extreme to another. She's my little brown-skinned beauty, with light eyes, just like I had prayed for. She is a longing fufilled, as she is the only baby we prayed for, and planned to get pregnant with. 10.) Wesley Pax. This kid came into the world to keep me prayed up. He's our only son, and he has shown me the love of God in that way. He is tough, he is strong, strong willed, and fearless. He is brave, and won't be told 'No", which is hard now at two, but will pay large dividends later, when the world tells him to live contrary to the Word of God. He is full of life, and plays hard, and then sleeps hard. He's anti-social like me, and freaks out in large groups of people he doesn't know, which helps me grow, as I teach him to love others. He keeps me on my toes, and has helped me to grow my "mom eyes" in the back of my head, because with a little boy, you cannot be naiive. but rather always on guard, and ready for anything. He's also an answer to prayer, because in a boy, I wanted a blonde haired, blue eyed surfer baby- and that is exactly what he is! 11.) Adalynn Mei. She is teaching me what rest, and sweetness, and love look like. She is the most calm and easy-tempered child I have ever seen. I actually google her quietness, because I didn't even know a baby could behave so well. She is my constant reminder than I should not take my children for granted, and the embodiment of the Lord knowing better than I. She also is the only baby to have been birthed in the comfort of our home. Which gave me a new awareness of myself as a woman, and as a mother. She is the only brown-eyed baby we have, and looks just like her daddy, and I love it! 12.) Cable TV. Lord knows I would not be able to shower, pee, or have five seconds to myself each day if it weren't for the networks of television that entertain my kids for certain times each day. When the cable is out, I am reminded how grateful I am for this luxury. 13.)Batteries...They power remotes, toys, swings, bouncers, cars, phones, and the list goes on. I am very thankful for this simply advance. Try living without them....you'll be thankful too. 14.)I am thankful for my bed. It is a safe place when the day has overwhelemed me. A place to rest when I am tired. A place of retreat when I am sad. It's comfy and warm, and it exhudes sleep from my being. I was pregnant with Teaghan, and we didn't yet have a bed (we had lived with my parents until McKenna was born), and we had an air matress. About 7 months into my pregnancy, the air matress began to leak slowly. So every night before bed, we woulf refill it, and then again around 4am. I remember waking up on the floor of our apartment, fully pregnant, with a sore back, longing for a regular bed. The day we got one, as a gift from my parents, I nearly cried. I layed in the bed with McKenna (who was only just 12 months old), for about 2 weeks, because it was so comfortable. We watched movied in bed, played on the bed, watched movies on the bed, ate snacks on the bed.... It was glorious! And I will never complain about my bed, so long as I have one! 15.) Photos. I love being able to look back at moments frozen in time, and rememeber the time, place, celebration, so clearly. Pictures are now everywhere, and stored forever, through the internet. And I am grateful! I am also grateul for the many photos that have been taken of our family...whether from family, or photographers, but they have captured these moments I'll treasure forever! 16.) Garbage disposals. This sounds silly, but in the first two houses we lived in, we didn't have one. And digging out pieces of food, debri, and junk is no fun. I hated cleaning out the little mesh metal basket that was the "catch all", especially when it was plastered with cheese than had melted, or noodles that had mushed into its small crevaces. I am so thankful that our house now, has a disposal, and that food bits can be rinsed down and ground up, never to be seen again! 17.) Food network. I know I already mentioned cable, but this network is much more than a few tv shows. Their magazines, the website, the shows, the stars, provide not only CLEAN entertainment in an increasingly disgusting media form, but they have silently, and probably unknowingly mentored me to be quite the home-chef. I love baking, cooking, creating with food. And I've learned things only taught in culinary school because of the training I've seen on this network, and through this brand. Things like how to tell what a good bread is, or when meat is cooked through without cutting into it. Things like how to properly dice an onion, or julienne carrots. Things like how to combine flavors, sear fish without it sticking to the pan, and what braising can do for roast. My family is probably also thankful, because it immediately affects them in a positive way, when I cook well. If we haven't had you over for dinner, we will! And if we have, you know exactly what I'm talking about here! 18.)I am thankful for the invention and availability of formula for infants. I know- this could be controversial- so brace yourselves. I have tried to nurse all of my kids. Let me start with- It is HARD. so kudos to all the moms who do it well! I'm not against nursing, but it's not for me. Due to various reasons (of which I will write about in another post because there's a lot!!!), I formula fed my babies! And I love it! They sleep in longer intervals, their poop is more predictable, the flexibility of people able to feed the baby is endless, and mom (ie me) is able to sleep or get a break! I relate formula to cars. Because people often argue that women's bodies are MADE for breasfeeding. And to that, I say, yes. Just like walking was the ideal way to travel back in the day, and it got people from one place to another, and was useful, and healthy....we now have cars. Is walking better for you? Probably. But in life and society today, I am retarded to walk to every location. And That's my reasoning for nursing...its it best? Maybe so. But in my life, and society and what I have to do today, and every day, it just isn't as practical. And I am not ashamed! So thank you similac, for your quality, and thank you Target, for your brand that is comparable, and very cheap! 19.) Concealer. Concealer covers all the things coffee can't fix. It brightens eyes, reduces redness, and covers blemishes. Whoever invented that junk is amazing. And there isn't a day - or at least they are very few- when I don't use it! 20.) Target. Or stores like it, with just about everything. The person who decided to put groceries, and supplies in the same store was a genius. When I have to get a watermelon and a pillow case on the same day, I really appreciate these places, especially when I have all the kids. Because unloading everyone for multiple stores is insane. so thank you to whomever decided hammers and hamburgers belong in the same store. 21.) Wisdom. She whispers reason when I want to loose it, or act irresponsibly. She beckons when I've grown lazy or tired. She has made a way in the form of others older and wiser, with life experience, who tell me what's best, so I can avoid pitfalls and mistakes. It's usually the holy spirit, but can be found in the Word, or in people. And I am very grateful that I don't have to learn by "trial and error" on everything! Wisdom has gone before, and I can learn sometimes by failure, but usually, if I'm willing and patient, through another, or the Bible, what is best. So that sums it up! Of course there are PLENTY of other things...but this covers the 3 things a day for 7 days bit. I hope we all learn to have an attitude of grattitude in all things. Because we enter His gates with tha |
AuthorBri is the mom to four little people, the wife to a gentle giant, and a lover of Jesus. She's figuring out the best ways to parent by trial and error, and sharing her struggles, successes, and stories with you! Archives
June 2018
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