8/29/2014 0 Comments When it rains, it pours...buckets!Today has been the epitome of miserable. You could tell (if you were here and could see me, but since you aren't and can't, I'll let you in on the visual, just to dispel the glamour behind social media posts) it's been rough by the snack I just had at 10:47pm on a Friday night. A bowl of canned corn with lots of butter. And salt. Yeah I know, it's not super good and it's not super great for me. But it says two things: 1) I'm desperate enough to need a carb topped with butter. Heaps and mounds of butter. And 2) we are fresh out of zebra cakes. (Sad face). Today has been a long long long day. It actually snowballed from last night. Or yesterday morning...but if I'm actually counting, I could technically roll the last five years all into the blame. Because life with kids can be adorably enjoyable, and also traumatically horrific at the same time. You've probably heard parents mush (or if you are a parent, since this is a, ahem, parenting blog - you've done it yourself) over their kids that are so freaking cute and say the funniest crap, all while looking exactly like the parent mushing, which makes for a bit of an extreme bias. But you get the point. But there are days that we don't like to talk about, actually, post about. Because if you've ever talked to a parent, misery escapes from our lips like a maroon 5 song. But our posts on parenting are for the most part delightful and ever so cute, the highlight reel if you will, of our parent/child relationship(s). ***DISCLAIMER: IF YOU SEE A PARENT POST ABOUT A NOT-SO-CUTE EVENT OR MOMENT WITH THEIR KID, THEY ARE BEGGING FROM THEIR HEART OF HEARTS FOR SOME ENCOURAGEMENT....why else would we plaster embarrassing or irresponsible things into your feed?*** So, on top of the usual amount of sleep deprivation I face, given that I have four kids under FIVE (since Kenna had a birthday it seems a little less dramatic!) and one of them is only 3 months old....it got worse...much worse. I'm pretty good about running on "empty" when it comes to energy....and I have my trusty three C's to help....(for another post- and probably in multiple others) coffee....concealer....and Christ Jesus. Lord knows I need Him. Coffee helps get rid of tiredness. And concealer covers whatever coffee can't fix. So yesterday, the baby decided to have a "chat session" and practice for her upcoming career as a 3-hour lecturing professor, and began chatting away at about 4am. Now typically, I would just lay said kid back in their bed and let them talk It out alone, while I go back to bed. Unless their upset or crying or both, they don't need me at 4am. They need me to sleep so I can accurately and effectively care for them the next day. But with Adalynn....who defies all baby odds when it comes to temperament...has her pitfall. She is a "happy spitter". Yeah. Whoever coined that phrase never had a kid who projectile vomits everywhere. Because there is nothing "happy" about it. She's outgrown it for the most part, but her gag reflex is stellar. And in the last two weeks or so, she has discovered her fists, and how they are super fun when inserted into her mouth. The two together are a lethal laundry combo. So to avoid to laundry, the mess, the showers for all members of our neighborhood at 4am, someone has to stay up with her, to monitor her "bulimia" if you will. Since Paco had to work the next morning, I took the task on. So having been awake since 4, because the others were up before Addie went back to bed, I was running on fumes by about noon. But on Thursdays I also have worship practice, which meant I would be out late. I would skip if I hated it. But seriously, band practice and the people I serve with, make Thursday nights from 7-10 a mini-stay-cation for me, week after week. I also had a meeting before that, from 5:30-7. Which can be DRAINING to sit through. Not because the content was boring but because it's a meeting. Duh. But I also committed to helping create a video, that needed completed before the weekend, and since Paco got home late from work, I didn't have the chance to create it before the meeting and band practice, I had to stay late-ER and do it after! So I'm exhausted on top of exhausted and when I look at the clock after finishing the video project, it was 1:30am!!!! Holy Moses. I knew my day would be a wreck. So I get home, go to bed, and lo! And behold! Wesley decided to get up at about 6:20 this morning. (He normally sleeps till about 9!) He also doesn't sit and "watch this show" while I "rest my eyes" for. A few minutes. He needs CONSTANT attention because he's two. And he's a HE. hello. So I'm zonked. My lovely grandmother and her hubs dropped off some Starbucks grade caffeine....extra shots and extra sugar...to get me through to noon. God bless 'Em. But on days I'm most worn, The kids have conspired and decide to be the most work. Can I get an amen? Wesley got into EVERY. STINKING. THING. this morning. I don't even remember all the stuff because it was so much. Things like ripping pages from random books. Dumping out the silverware drawer. Turning on the bathtub water and managing to flood the floor with one splash, in about .08 seconds. Things that would probably win us prizes from Guinness book of records if I called and had them observe. The kid is cray cray! The girls, who have been pretty Good lately, fought nonstop. She touched my arm. She took that toy. She's wearing that shirt. She ate her lunch. ( yes- her own lunch) my favorite was the "she's in my way and I can't see the tv!" Because "she" is about 2.5 feet tall. And the tv is mounted on the wall, at about 3 feet off the ground, and it's a 60" screen! You could land planes in my living room because it's so visible, and here they were complaining. Gaaaah!!! Wes pulled the cord from the outlet, to the vacuum, about 20 times while I was attempting to vacuum the floor. It took like 4 hours to complete my living room. I also have a beef with children's tv networks... because I don't understand how we can only ever see the same 3 episodes of Mickey Mouse or bubble guppies. I could quote you the lines from each one from memory. Today, McKenna begggggged me to start "school". (I was waiting until I had a chance to wake up, in order to teach her correctly!) so I divulge her request and she immediately starts whining that "school is so hard! I don't want to do this! Can I just be done!?" Smack. My. Head. It was as if Jesus had lead Papa John's Pizza to send out a text promotion, because by 5:30 I hadn't even thought about dinner, much less did I have anything close to a desire to want to make it. Take out had to have been created by a woman. Bedtime rolls around, and I think to myself, "skipping baths tonight won't kill the kids. They had one last night, and we didn't go anywhere today." Done and done. I wrestle Wes into a clean diaper. Pour and mix three glasses of Chocolate milk....and McKenna reminds me (because children NEVER FORGET. I swear, if you need to remember something, tell your kids. They won't let you live it down!) I told them because daddy would be gone tonight (add that! He had a baker football game to attend as their chaplain! I was winning all day!) we could watch a movie together, after Wes and Addie went to bed. I can feel my eyelids burning from exhaustion. So after 90 minutes of torture to the sound of "Narnia", the girls finally went to bed. The house is a mess. I'm a mess. Literally. I haven't showered yet today. I decide to sit for a minute and hopefully fall asleep and leave the rest of responsibility for tomorrow....when the baby starts crying. Face palm. So after that lengthy ramble of today (the post is as long as my day seemed!) I'm here to say....some days, being a mom sucks. Some days. It's super hard. And I am so tired. And I am tired. (Whoops. See?) My body hurts and aches and pains me to bend down again....for another toy....or paci....or piece of garbage. I'm sick of having to assist people as they do things they are more than capable of. I want to trade, and have the kids bathe, wash my hair, massage me with lotion, and brush my hair before bed. I want them to serve up three meals, and twenty-eight snacks and beverage combos each day when I call. I want to pick the movie for the day, and let it contain subject matter that captivates my attention. I want to play games and do all of my favorite things, skew accessories and belongings all over the house and have them returned to their rightful places when I wake up the next day. Dear Lord, I want someone to put me to bed at 8, and have the house quiet until I wake on my own around 9-9:30 the next day. I actually told my husband that spring break week, of each kids' senior year- I'm waking them up every three hours through the night, making them drink a full glass of warm milk, and change their pants. Payback!! Nights like tonight, I am waiting for the season to be over. The season of toddlers and infants. Diapers and Bottles. Boo-boos and emotional roller coasters. I know I know...one day I'll look back and wish the days were still here...but tonight....on august 29th...2014. I want to tap out. I want to give up. I want to quit and be done. And thankfully, the Voice of Reason, whispers to me.... "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again--my Savior and my God!" Psalm 43:5. "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:14. "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up." Galatians 6:9. An I'm so so so very glad that in the hardest seasons....when I was little...my mom didn't give up. And in her "doing well" she equipped me with the Truth that is the Word of God, to remind me when it's hard, that I am serving my kids with a purpose. That my efforts aren't in vain. That the long and sleepless nights, the long and tiring days, are full of opportunity to show Jesus to my kids....and make them into disciples! An that's good news! That is worth fighting one more day, one more hour, one more moment. So don't be discouraged....being a mom...a dad....a parent is HARD. And it's the one job, where the lasting effects will haunt us or honor us for the rest of our lives. So do it as into The Lord, with diligence, with fervor, with passion, and grace. Lots and lots and lots of grace. It's the most self-less job on the planet, too. If you think you've got "selfishness" in the bag, have a kid, because they will teach you to lay down your rights, and wants for theirs....starting immediately. So encourage the next parent you see....be it in line at the grocery, in a parking lot, or hulling all the kids to a park or appointment....just like you need it, I need it...we all do! A healthy reminder that we are doing it the "right way". That we aren't screwing up our kids, and that it's going to be worth it! His mercies are new every morning! Thank The Lord! Now I'm going to bed to get sleep...and that mercy in the a.m.! Happy parenting!
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8/26/2014 0 Comments vBACA friend of mine posted this on Facebook. It's a lovely lost from a momma who successfully had a VBAC. No, I've never ha a cesarean, by the grace of God...but I wanted to share this, because for all of the momma friends I have, there's still quite a few either opting for c-sections, being told they "need" c-sections, or are told the risk for VBAC is too great to chance. And I thought this story both shares the facts of truth in risks...or lack there of; and secondly shares the story of a birth and a woman who took woman-hood by the horns and embraced all her femininity would allow! So without further adieu: (For the original post click here!, or keep reading because I simply pasted her. Log in the section below!) "Friday, July 25, 2014Baby Jett's arrival...For those of you who know me, know that I have longed for the day that I could experience childbirth. Most people would roll their eyes when I would say that and reply with "you aren't missing anything", or "I wish I didn't have to experience childbirth", but even with negativity, it never once made me glad I hadn't experienced true labor and delivery. My most precious Parker and Beckham arrived through c-sections. Parker, I elected for c-section because back then, I was scared to death of labor and delivery and what it would do to my body, etc. Beckham, I looked into a VBAC (vaginal birth after c-section), and every doctor I talked to was EXTREMELY negative about it, explaining that worst case scenario, which is uterine rupture, would be catastrophic, giving my baby a 30% chance of cerebral palsy, or even worse, death of me and or the baby. So as you can imagine, I chose c-section. No one told me that the percent of that happening was only 1/2% higher than a momma who was delivering vaginally for the first time...no c-section. So 1% was the chance of that happening to me. So she decided to put me on the toilet. Yep, the toilet for 5 sets of surges. That causes the baby to really move down and put pressure on the cervix. After about 3 or 4 surges I began to feel the need to push! So Jenee got me off the toilet and put me on the exercise ball and forced me to let my body go limp and roll my hips around. (Really focusing- trying not to loose control and scream my lungs out)
(My wonderful husband, encouraging me SO much) (My Midwife...love her) My water broke in the tub, but baby Jett was not wanting to move out. So they decided to put me on the bed and try some different positions. So they laid me down and I began to push in the traditional on my back, legs up, position. He started coming. Everyone is telling me how great I am doing and to push push PUUUUSH! So that's what I did. So, after 2 hours of pushing...they told me to look down and grab my baby...YES...he was there, and I grabbed under his arms and pulled him out myself, laid him on my chest and heard the voice of angels...my little Jett screaming! He and I just laid there while the midwives took care of all the "other stuff"...staring at each other, nursing, loving each other. I must say, that moment was magical. The pain was gone, my precious baby was there and my wonderful husband who was SO INCREDIBLE through it all, was glowing. I DID IT! I DID IT!!!!! I PUSHED a 10 POUND BABY OUT!!! Of course...by the absolute grace of God. He blessed my efforts. He deserved all glory. They finally took him from my arms to weigh him, and they helped me into a wonderful herbal bath where Jett joined me and we had a magical bath together...recovering from the biggest workout of my life! And to my wonderful midwife Jenee...you were amazing...you encouraged me every step in The Lord and took such amazing care of me. Not only a midwife, but a friend." 8/26/2014 0 Comments Hide & Go-SeekSaturday we went, as a family, to a birthday party. The little boy was turning one. So you can imagine the cuteness of said party. While there, I felt semi-uncomfortable, because while I do well at being loud in smaller groups or with people I know, I really am quite uncomfortable in large social settings, around people I don't know. (I'm not a people person... Shocking I know.) The dad of the little boy, works with my husband. As you can imagine, there were lots and lots and lots of people there. I knew about 1.5 of them. One of which, being the birthday boy. So you can imagine the scene. About 50 people I didn't know, stacked inside of a house, with limited seating, or standing room. Swamps of party decor, balloons, food and beverages piled high, signs and banners...it's was your typical middle-class, first birthday experience. So naturally, with four kids, I spent most of the time wrangling cattle...I mean children. And searching the span of the room over and over again, as my eyes needed to mentally "count" Children every 10.8 seconds. "One. Two. Three. Four". "One. Two. Three. Four" "One. Two. Three. Four". "One. Two. Three..... Three...... Where is....oh four". It's all too familiar for parents of multiple children!! So I'm watching and counting and supervising and parenting, and I can see Wesley, looking for Paco. Paco at this point in the party (i.e. 5 minutes after entering) is amongst the drodes of people: talking, chatting, reminiscing, and enjoying his blue-to-match-the-party-theme solo cup of lemonade. Wesley is searching for him. He can see him from across the room. So he begins to make his way in Paco's general direction. But once he's in the general area of where Paco stands, Wes can no longer see above the towering adults crowding in front of him. He can't see the forest through the trees. He's trying, but there's just too much around him to see his dad. So he comes back. He gets back to the side near me, where it's cleared out enough, to search for Paco. He looks up, standing as tall as he can on his tip-toes, yells out "Dad!" And sees him. He gets his bearings, and starts the search again. Pushing and plowing through tons of strangers, trying to get to his daddy's side. And again- when he's surrounded by the happenings of the party- his view is clouded, and he can no longer see Paco. Whom mind you, is just behind the group of adults Wes is in front of. Literally- Paco was directly in front of Wes- but Wes couldn't see him, because of the others. Not more than a foot away, but Wes couldn't make him out. So back Wes goes- to the other end of the room, where his vision is clear and the bigger picture can be seen. And finally, after about 8 attempts, he made it to Paco! Paco scooped him up, shared some lemonade with Wes, and the two never separated. I watched this happen, and couldn't help but see the spiritual parallel. Sometimes we are so close to what's happening around us, that we can't see the big picture and find our way back to the Father's arms. Sometimes I am too close to my husband, and we argue over silly things, and I can't see how God is using him for my good. Sometimes I'm surrounded by so much negativity, be it on the news, or Facebook feeds, that I can't see how God could possibly intervene. Sometimes life is so sad and hopeless, that I loose the big picture of God's master plan. And I really need to do like Wes did, and go back to where I last saw Jesus, and refocus. Re-center. Re-align myself with where God is working. We can easily get caught up in what is happening right in front of us, be it offense, busy-ness, or parenting. But if we would step back, and see God's bigger picture and master plan, we would find how close- or some times, how far- we really are from His heart and His loving arms. Maybe you're reading this and you're in a situation that looks grim. Maybe you've been given a diagnosis or news that's not easily worked through. Know that Jesus is there, just a few inches from you, if you would just re-align yourself to finding Him! Maybe you've lost all joy, and the stress and worry of life and responsibility has taken it's toll on you. Know that if you would return to the place where you last saw Jesus...and get a vision of where He is- His arms are open and waiting for you. Maybe you've been working and toiling and trying so hard, to be good, or be righteous, or be of worth. And you are waiting for your reward. Know that His grace covers you, and has already made the way, so that when you press through the circumstance of life, He will be ready and waiting to "share His lemonade"...and pour out a blessing on you, so much so that you cannot contain it. When our vision gets blurry, we need to step back and see what God is doing. Where He is. What He is saying. And How to find Him. I know I tend to make spiritual things out of nothing but dust. But that's exactly the image that I was made in the likeness of. The One who makes beautiful, living, spiritual things- from nothing but dust. Jesus help me to see the bigger picture. Help me to step back and find you when life seems overwhelming. Help me not to "miss" You and what You're doing, because I'm so close to the situations around me, myself, and I. And when I find you, help me to know that Your arms are open and waiting for me to be embraced!!! "Seek Him while He may be found. Call to Him while He is near". Isaiah 55:6.
8/21/2014 2 Comments Thu, Aug 21, 2014I recently read a post on spankings. No, actually, the author penned it as "hitting" your child. In our society and modern era, it's a controversial subject like vaccinations and public-vs.-homeschool education....and more recently breast feeding. Which I won't get into today, because this post will be quite lengthy on the subject of disciple alone, and I have just barely started. I just wanted to clarify for all of you who probably oppose the idea, and give some evidence of support to those in favor of it, since swirling around us are "studies" and "research" against the topic. I wanted to give clarity, and realignment to the subject, because it's gotten so twisted and skewed that the truth is being lost amidst skeptisism and controversy. Not all spankings are hitting. But some hitting is spanking. There are those who out of anger, aggression, bad choices, rage, malice, frustration, and lack of self-control will hit their children. Hitting hard, abusively, and wrongly. This behavior, I do not, nor will I ever condone. The same people punish infants, small babies, children learning about life and love- who need reassurance more than discipline, because they simply do not know. What I am in support of, is inflicting natural consequence when behavior does not align with the moral standards of the Bible. Before I get into the biblical mandate that governs me as a parent, I thought I would post some "scientific" and "educational" support first, for those of you who may not agree with me on the infalable truth of the Bible. Mr. Theodore Kettle puts it like this: "Two recent analyses – one psychological, the other legal – may debunk lenient modern parenting the way the Climategate e-mail scandal has short circuited global warming alarmism. © 2014 Newsmax. " You can read the full article here. Another article keyed by Mr. Selena Duke, describes the parents who appose spanking, like this: "That is to say, to such parents, discipline is often a dirty word. They tend to be overly permissive, set poor examples, be inconsistent in moral guidance and not teach responsibility. They are unlikely to view themselves as absolute authority figures but, rather, will treat the family as a democracy (without a constitution). They are more apt to want to be buddies than parents to their children. Common sense tells us some other things as well. For one thing, we often hear that corporal punishment is damaging because it “teaches violence,” a nonsensical assertion if ever there were one...." He continues. "Of course, in reality, as even cursory observation of babies and toddlers informs, it’s more like the Attila the Hun gene. When they have tantrums, they will often lash out, hitting, biting, and pulling hair. Hey, they will cry and scream without that behavior being modeled for them, either. Despite this, some would have us believe that parents can control these often violent, disagreeable little creatures without occasional recourse to physical action themselves. These experts tell us that if you have to resort to such a tactic, there is something wrong with your parenting ability. This is an interesting theory. If it is valid, we can save ourselves a heck of a lot of money. Why not just eliminate our military, for instance? If man can ever and always be reasoned with, there is no need for an entity whose purpose is, in part, to violently impose our will (rightly or wrongly) on others. Then, if a man breaks the law and resists arrest, won’t the police use violent action to take him into custody? Why should this be allowed? Can’t they just talk to him, reason, and cajole him into compliance? Maybe he just needs to know he’s being listened to." Again, feel free to read the post in its entirety, here. So now that we can see the fallacy of "science" in regards to apposing discipline in the form of spankings, let's talk about why it is necessary and also biblical. The bible tells us that even God, disciplines those He loves. If I, as a parent, truly love my children, in an unconditional way, in an attempt to be like Jesus, then I too must discipline my children. How can this be a rational thought you might ask? Because usually the argument that the child has "rights" as a human being, comes into play here. And to that I would argue, That we do it with other things. I don't know about you, but my kids usually oppose all the things that are good for them. Things like car seat straps, and brushing their teeth, practicing spelling words, eating spinach, and wearing pants into target. But I make my children do these things out of the love that I have for them. A really really good nugget of wisdom came to me when I was in the 8th grade, in one of my favorite classes with one of my favorite teachers of all time: Mrs. smiley's language arts. She said "your rights end where mine begin". And she was right. Your child, my child, all children, have rights. But they end when they interfere with mine, yours, or anyone else's. I cannot say that I love my children, and yet don't force them to eat nothing but cake and candy throughout the day. Why? Because as adults we know the natural consequence of eating junk all day long. I cannot say that I love my children, and allow them to remain free in the car without safety harnesses, even though it seems to them that there is no apparent danger. Because you and I as adults, know the natural consequence of not wearing seatbelts while driving. It's not that I don't love my children, which leads me to spankings. It's that I love them so very much, that I will not allow them to grow up without them. There are things in life that do not have natural consequences, that can be seen or felt immediately. They take years and years to build up a consequence. One that is too great and too unfathomable for me to let my children bear. Things like disrespect for others. Things like raging anger when their way is not chosen or allowed. Things like sharing and kindness with others. The result isn't immediate, it's delayed. But as children they cannot, as they have not lived long enough, know that the result of each of those things is terribly awful. I do not want my children to ask me one day, why I allowed them to disrespect all authority, and now at 27, they cannot find a job, because they cannot respect a boss and his/her decisions and authority in their life. I do not want my children to call me from prison with questions about why I let them rage and be angry as children, and Now as adults they do not not understand controlling their emotions, and have landed in arrest for battery and domestic violence. I do not want my children to ask me, why I let them continue in being unkind, and not sharing, which leads to loneliness of the most heart wrenching form, because other people do not want friends with people of that nature. It's a hard reality, but it's true. So as the parent, who is older and wiser, I will provide a natural consequence for each of those seemingly innocent and childish behaviors, to keep my children from a larger more drastic one later. I love them too much to see them as lonely, imprisoned, disrespectful adults. Because we've all met an adult with such habits. And let's be honest: it's no fun being in line at the grocery store with them. Or working with them. Or sitting by them on an airplane. Or having to function with them in society. And thankfully there are enough of us who were given guidance as children, to manage living in a world with said people, on a daily basis, without total societal chaos. As Paul wrote, I put away childish things...because as children, yes, we have those tendencies. There's no need to teach a child to rebel, to disrespect, to hate, to sin. It's already in there. But as a mother, a parent, a Christian, it is my duty to train my children, to love God and hate sin. And the minimal pain of a spanking, is a natural reminder to abstain from such behavior, until they are old enough, and wise enough, to see the actual, and much much much more painful natural consequence that is loneliness, joblessness, or worse. Does it work? Heck yes. There are times it seems like it doesn't. Times when I question, "is this effective?" But when I'm in the store and my kids aren't throwing a fit like the kid in the isle over, I am thankful. When my kids aren't the ones who refuse to eat their lunch at a play date, I am thankful. When they are not the ones screaming at, hitting one, pulling my hair at the birthday party, I am so very thankful. And the occasions happen, when we choose to dine at a public restaraunt, or go to the library, or the park, or sit in church, when other people, particularly the elderly, publically commend and acknowledge my children for behaving so well. And in those moments, as a parent, a mom, a Christian, I am ever. So. Thankful. There is, as I started, a differerence in hitting and spanking. We (meaning my husband and I) don't spank our kids until their first birthday. (I know I know- happy birthday, now here's a spanking!) But seriously. A 6 month old, doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. And their tiny minds can't understand why or what's happening. Please please please, don't hit your babies. They are small only once, and in those few short months, they need to feel the warmth of your hugs, the safety in your embrace, the touch of kindness to know you love them beyond what they do or don't do. When we do introduce spankings, we do it with purpose. We don't just start whooping people at every chance we get. We start by telling them "no". If my 13 month old is playing with an outlet, I will say "no" very firmly, remove their hands from the surface, smack the outlet, and again say "NO!" Then hold their hand and walk them away to something that is permissible. But if the child returns, am I to let them play with it again, because they are "entitled" to their rights? No. Absolutely- please- do not allow this in your home. It is abuse to let them continue, and allow them to be electrocuted. I will however, spank their padded, diapered, bottom. The place on their natural bodies with the most cushioned flesh possible, as to not inflict harm, but minor pain. Pain enough to remind them not to do It again, so that it results in a more tragic, more painful, more permanent end. The immediate respone of a small Child, is to open their arms, and be held. Because for the past 12 months, I've shown them that my arms are the safe and comforting place. And they return to this place, no matter how far they've strayed in disobedience. It's a tiny toddlers' way of saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me" even when their minds cannot compute the words. With my girls, this was usually the end of the trial/error on their part. They got the message of "no" loud and clear. With my son, it's been more of a challenge. Because he is more determined, more tough, more willing to "accept a challenge", because that's what men do. But I can attest, in the darkest of moments, in the most trying of times, Wesley has shown hope of learning to obey, in the last two weeks. It's taken Long hours, hard decisions, and lots and lots of spankings. But he's getting it. He can show you how to be "gentle", "quiet", and "easy". Three words that are far from a small boys' mind. But the payoff comes in the form of sweetness at home, gentleness with other children, and quietness in public places. And it is so so sweet. And I'm not referring to childish sweet. I mean the kind that is baller and awesome as an adult. Trust me, because I have a nearly 5 year old. (In about 7 days to be exact!) that nearly all...probably 80% of the hard, awful, discipline training is through. She understands right from wrong, and the times we need to actually spank her, have dwindled to sparce. Why? Because we were consistent with what mom or dad says, goes. And it has been engrained into her. And now, when we ask of her, she replies " yes mom" or "yes dad". Don't misunderstand, she still has her moments. She is still a child after all. And she is still in a world where the enemy is warring for her gaze, her attention, her life. But I am also in this war- not only defending myself, but training her to one day fend the evil off, on her own. Interestingly enough, the argument of most Christian families, who appose strict discipline, is that of "friendship". They want their children to "like them" or to "be close" and to have a "bond" that can "be ruined by discipline, saying no, or restriction". But the truth is, that learning to love through the hardships, is what makes for lasting friendship beyond childhood. I can attest to this. I am living proof. My parents disciplined and spanked both my brother and I, as children. And as an adolescent, I thought my parents were the worst, knew nothing, and were meaner than they should've been. But now, as an adult, I see why they did and said and spanked as they did. And I am grateful. I am full of gratitude for their attitude adjustments, because as an adult I can see the opposite of both sides, and know that they were right all along. My parents and I have never been closer. We can joke and play, be serious and tell secrets. Because they showed us What true love looks like. The kind that reprimands when danger or destruction is inevitable. And I will never be able to repay them, except with living the example they showed to me. As I am a firm believer in spanking, I want to balance that with the statement that I am a firm believer in affirmation too. Be it physically, with hugs, kisses, tickle fights, holding hands. Or be it verbal, with encouragement, letters to say "well done", saying " I love you", and praise. The thought of not coupling discipline with affirmation is an idea that needs discipline itself. You cannot love, through pain, unless you also love through pleasure. It's a vital truth in all things: marriage, friendship, parenting, dreams. And to have one without the other constitutes unbalance in all things. So I leave you with this: Finally, {parents}, whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE, whatever is JUST, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVELY, whatever is COMMENDABLE, if there is any EXCELLENCE, if there is anything WORTHT OF PRAISE, think about these things. Force your children into truth. Force your children into honor. Force your children into what is just. Force your children into Purity. Force your children into Loveliness. Force your children into Actions that are commendable. Force your children into Excellence. With discipline. Be it spankings, time outs, restrictions, loss of priveledges, or a combination of the above. But- And it's a BIG BUT. Force YOURSELVES, into giving praise where it is worthy. 8/20/2014 0 Comments It's Getting Hot in Here.I must've held Wes for over an hour. That was after Paco had held him for about twenty minutes, followed by holding him again for about 45 minutes more. I've also never held Wes until he fell asleep, and had him wake up from a deep, snoring, slumber from pain. We've all done it. At least once if not more. Touched the burner on the stove top. Tonight at my parents house, where the stove still has the older-style coil burners, we had finished making dinner, and walked away, when Wesley decided to reach up and grab the burner, that wasn't still glowing orange, but was definitely hot enough to hurt. He screamed and cried and tears rolled down his face, snot poured from his nose. He would scream and moan, and let out a cry of both exhaustion and regret, as if to say "I give up" because the pain was too much. An h would bury his head into my chest. Like most kids, he was apprehensive about touching anything- including the ice pack we tried so desperately to lay on his palm. And eventually, I just held his fingers to it, while holding both the ice pack and his hand in my own, showing him what to do, forcing him to do it, because it's for his own good. He's only two and doesn't know any different. He doesn't know that holding it on the ice will help take away the pain. He doesn't know that burn cream will help too. He doesn't know how to keep it from "tearing" the skin at the burn site, to keep it from hurting and stinging all over again. He would momentarily feel relief, because he would then take his hand away from the ice pack, having calmed down a bit, and then would seconds later, start screaming again and shaking his hand violently. And I would have to tell him all over again, to put it back on the ice. He fell asleep from crying so hard. And would wake up if he accidentally, and without knowing, took his three burnt little fingers off the ice. Finally. It was over. The relief came. He eventually overcame the pain and emotional torment, and he was back to himself. But for any parent, the most awful thing we can do is to watch our kids suffer from something, knowing there is nothing we can possibly do to relieve their hurts. I know I feel it. It could be as small as a stubbed toe, paper cut, or "boo boo". Or as extreme as vaccines, bruised foreheads, or in this case, minor surface burns to the skin. But it got me thinking. (Yeah I do that a lot as a mom.) That horribly awful, terribly painful burn was a small fraction....of another fraction....of the burn that will come from being in Hell. I know it sounds like fire and brimstone. But I'm serious. The pain and torment that my two year old went through tonight is nothing compared to the eternal burn of the pit of flames. The bible is clear that hell will be an awful place. One with weeping and gnashing of teeth. And if you've seen a two year old get his fingers burned on a coil stove too, you've experienced all the weeping and gnashing of teeth you'll ever want, for the rest of your life. I would've done anything to keep Wes from getting burnt. And I think any parent would do the same for their child. So then why do we take a small, surface burn on the skin so seriously, and warn our kids not to "touch the stove", and take precautions like we do, and stand guard, hovering over our kids making sure it doesn't happen in the natural. And yet, with the same breath, we allow them to dangle within millimeters of a place far worse. I found myself tonight being reminded how fragile life is- yet again- and how I am all the more responsible for these kids. Does that mean that if they choose to rebel against the word of God I will be held accountable? No. Because it's ultimately their choice. But it does mean I will be held accountable for my actions before they get there. It means I won't give my kids the option to go to church or not. Whether they're 7 months old, 7 years, or 17 years old. It means I won't allow them to watch filth on tv, like sex and gore, language and nudity. But it also means not letting them watch shows with magic and sorcery. Lying and slander. It means not allowing my daughters to parade aroun in clothing too revealing, too tight, too short, too immodest, to be pleasing to the Holy Spirit. Not because it's a legalistic thing, but because I want to be clear on where I want her to "end up". It means not listening to secular music, because they're picking up everything around them, and I don't want to send mixed messages to their ears, that says "we listen to Jesus on Sundays and when things get tough, but to Rascall Flatts when things are easy and light". It means showing them what a quiet time looks like...even if it means I have to sacrifice sleep to work it out with all of our schedules. Because when they move out on their own, they need to know that grown ups do this Jesus thing too. It means bathing them in prayer, both on my knees alone in my prayer closet, and publically where I can lay my hands on them. Because I have to ultimately give the task to God anyways, because I'm not perfect. It means asking for forgiveness when I lead them on the wrong direction, make a mistake, or give them a false theology in my own "learning" of the subject. Because I don't want to ever have to watch my son with a burn on his fingers again. Or on his arms. Or his legs. Or face. Or anywhere else. The flames of hell are much stronger, much more painful, and much more lasting than that of a coil stove. Parents....it's our job to train them up. We can't sit idly while pop-culture babysits and worldliness nurtures. They need us to be the example we want to see in them. Yes, I make mistakes. Yes, You will too. But with Gods help and his unmerited favor and grace, somehow we can live loves worthy of our title: parents. The next time things get heated- with your toddler, or teen- just remember that the flames of hell are much hotter. And I don't know about you, but I would rather put out a fire here on earth, than watch my child burn for eternity. 8/19/2014 0 Comments Miracle SprayI do lots of product reviews on my beauty blog, which you can check out here, But I thought I would rave about my most recent mom-tested-and-approved product here on my parenting blog. Basically...this stuff is for anyone with children, anyone who knows anyone with children- heck- it's for anyone within a 37 mile radius of children. Which means just about anyone can use this junk. The miracle spray (because that's exactly what it is) is Windex Multi-Surface, Antibacterial, and it's the yellow one. (Not to be confused with the "all natural vinegar scented one! Eeeeew!) I'm not kidding you, as a mom, this stuff saves my life everyday. I've only ever been more saved by Jesus. It smells DELISH. Which for me is a HUGE deal. I get morning sickness something fierce and it really hasn't bothered me when pregnant or after. Which is saying something. Because we've ha to change laundry soaps, shampoos, my husbands cologne...all because of my sensitivity to smells. It's light and fresh and just a tad citrusy. But not in like an "orange glow" kind of way. It clean and crisp and nice. And everyone who smells it while I'm using it, asks what it is because of the smell.....and also...because it's amazing. It is my go-to kitchen spray because it not only cuts through grime, grease, and GERMS, (You just spray the entire area, wait a minute or two, and then wipe with a hot sudsy rag...and trust me, you can see it lifting the filth.) but it's also the only product I've found that doesn't leave giant streak marks a cross our black granite countertops. I'm not kidding....I haven't found a product that smells lovely, is CHEAP or at least reasonable, and leave streak-free clean behind. Black granite, above all other colors...while stunning, is also a magnet for ANYTHING. Like, the kids touch it, and there are fingerprints. Set a glass one it, there's a ring. Breath near it, and it's a foggy mess that needs wiped again. So I can't tell you how convenient this spray is. The best part is, that on the days that I clean more than the countertops....which, contrary to popular belief, is less often than I would like to admit, the spray is versatile enough to go from room to room. That's right. One spray. All the rooms. I wipe the coffee table with it. I wipe out toilets with it. I dust mirrors, windows, and frames with it. It does the shower doors, tops of the trash cans, cupboard fronts, table tops, sinks, baseboards, tile....you name it, and the spray will do it. No- I am not a paid spokesperson for windex. But I could be! Because I love this stuff! The best part...you can get it just about anywhere- includin target, publix, Walgreens....wherever. For about $3. It might be like $3.49. But it's worth every penny! So there ya go. Go out, and get yourself some windex multi-surface, anti-bacterial, the yellow one! Trust me...you will love it. And then you'll love me for writing this little review. 8/17/2014 0 Comments Here we go.Tomorrow marks the start of a giant and brand-new adventure: homeschool. People have asked me a thousand and one times about how I'll handle the added workload. Because who are we kidding, homeschooling requires just as much (if not more) work from mom, than the child/student. I spent about 4 months beginning in January of this year, writing, gathering, downloading, pinning, collaborating ideas on what McKenna would cover. When it's your own kid, you think things will be easier, but actually, the pressure is on the "most intense" setting, because you also don't want to screw up. Both Paco and I have always wanted to teach our kids the fundamentals and ins and outs of the Bible. It was a non-negotiable. So McKenna will have a good portion of her work geared around and dealing with the Bible, Bible stories, scripture memorization, virtues, etc. But as Paco would say, "I want my kid to be smart". Don't we all? I mean who wants a dumb kid? No one. And as a parent, even if your kid lacks in the common sense or logical thinking departments, you don't parade around saying things like "he/she is so stupid!" You save those remarks for your spouse. Just kidding! But seriously. So I started researching the highest performing schools in the world, for academics. Not surprisingly, the good ol' US of A wasn't quite at the top of the list. Plenty of other places are doing things smarter, harder, in ways that work well. So from there, (with the Netherlands and Canada ranking highest), I started searching out what they do/have done for centuries. I also compared what I found with kindergarten and first grade readiness checklists. This made sure I crossed all the necessary "checkpoints" so to speak, that she will need to have under her belt by the end of the year. Either I have a ridiculously over-post irvine view on mckennas skill level, or she will prove me wrong, but I actually ran out of material while writing and planning, and had only made it from august to December. So, I added in work and concepts from first grade, and began building them into the curriculum. (You can purchase the curriculum I've written on the curriculum page on this site!)I'll keep you posted on how she paces once we get going! Anyways, I write all of that to say, I've been preparing for months...literally....MONTHS. Almost right months to be exact. We've purchased supplies, and made copies, we've sent out documents to the school board, and prepared everything we possibly could. I'm beyond excited, and beyond terrified too. But I've put in all I possibly can, and now I have to know that The Lord will bless what I've given, an make it worth something of value. So often, we either don't move forward because we don't have much to offer, or we worry that our small offering isn't enough. We do it when we buy stuff. Choose friends. Look in the mirror. But it isn't about what I can bring. It's about what He does with what I bring. I have the priveledge of singing on our church's worship team. And when I'm asked to lead a song, I can work through and practice and rehearse the crap out of that thing. But there isn't enough effort inside of me, you, or all of mankind, to muster up change in people. It takes God breathing on that song to minister to hearts. And the same is true in any other area of our lives. Including our homeschool project. I'm learning to let go and let God. He's going to take what I've worked hard at, breathe on it, and make it life changing. Tonight marks the end of a chapter, where all of my kids were too little for school. Now my oldest, is beginning something, alongside of me, that neither of us has experienced before. I'm convinced that I will learn just as much as she, even though the content may vary. Pray for me, as I teach an disciple my daughter. An I'll be praying that God would do what only He can do, and make my little something, into something not so little! 8/17/2014 0 Comments Coming soon!Ladies!!! If you are a momma, and you've got children who are elementary aged or younger, stay tuned! Coming the first week of September, I'll be hosting a Life Group, (or small group!) from my home, called "Blessed Is She". It will be both a time of spiritual refreshing, and also practical study of the word, along with ideas about managing your home with young children! Since I can't reach all of you because of schedules, distance, and simply the space capacity of my home, I thought I would post the resources on the blog page, so you can group right along with me and the other ladies! You are also welcome to host your very own "Blessed Is She" group from your home, with your momma-friends, on a day that's convenient for you, and hopefully, this will spur on discipleship opportunities all over the place! So if you're interested in growing as both a woman of the call of Christ, and a better mom, you won't want to miss out on the resources being posted! My on-site group will meet every other Friday evening, in my home beginning the first week of September (the 4th!). Resources will be posted the following Saturday, so that you have them just a soon as our group has met and discussed the material! If you plan on having a "sister" group, please just let me know! I would love to be praying for you and your fellow moms to experience Jesus in a new and fresh way. As well as being encouraged by the growth of sisters in Christ, in another time or space! I'm looking forward to this special time where we can serve and encourage each other, grow in relationships and spirit, and have lots of practical and fun ideas shared! Can't wait! xx, Bri 8/14/2014 1 Comment Wally KazamEvery now and again I get on a soap box. And today is one of those moments. As parents, I can't tell you how critical our jobs are. We literally have to be the filters for everything our kids see, do, hear, and say. Which is a ginormous responsibility. Part of my responsibility is to shield what enters the ear or eye gates oft kids, and I hope you take that responsibility seriously as a parent as well. One of the "fire-walls" we have up at the Curzio House, is one that resists it's magic. The Bible is clear that as believers, we should not entertain magic of any kind. And growing up, my mom always took it seriously, and I believe it is critical that at our house we do the same. That means no wands, spells, chants, or witches. No wizards, magicians, potions, or trances. (If you want specific biblical references for why this isn't ok, please let me know and I will be happy to send them your way!) but for the sake of time, I'm not going to post the nitty-gritty. What I want to do in this post, is expel the darkness that lies within the pseudo-cover of a cute and innocent television show, parading around our living rooms and Into the hearts of our kids, as we sit blindly and idle, allowing it to continue. Now let me start this, before I say any more, that while there is biblical scripture to why magic and sorcery is not acceptable, not every Christian home sees eye I eye on this. Funny I know. Hypocritical, maybe. But I want to be clear about where I stand. Second, is to say that while I am making an example of one show in particular, there are plenty of other shows that fit the bill, and we have determined they are not appropriate for our house. This might look different in your home, and I'm not here to say what shows or activities are or are not godly. I would hope and pray, that everything you allow to air in your home, is however, pressed through the filter of eternity over momentary satisfaction of your children's' preferences. That being said, I want to pick out one show in particular, And expose the reasons why we do not allow it in our home, and hopefully, you won't either. The show is Wally Kazam. Nick Jr. Describes the show by saying "Wally and his crew of funny, colorful characters bring fun and mischief to his magical world." Stop there. Before we even discuss what Wally is, the description of the show from the website host, proudly displays that it's funny and colorful to bring about both magic, and MISCHIEF! Now, I don't know about you, but I'm a mom. With four littles. And mischief is not fun. There's no exception either. It's not cute when your kid throws a tantrum. It's not adorable when they hit their friends, or siblings, or you the parent. It's not funny when your child is getting into the things they've been told to stay away from for the seven-billionth time. Mischief is NOT fun and colorful. I don't want mischief and trouble and SIN (because that's ultimately what it is), being acceptable or taken lightly at my house. Because the minute I allow it in the door as "cute" because my 2 or 3 year old is just "being mischievous" as they sneak a snack without asking, or take something that doesn't belong to them...like a penny for example. That seems harsh. Right? My 3 year old finds a penny on my husbands night stand. She nabs it, hides it behind her back, and claims it as her own. You know the scene because it plays out at your house. Kids do these things - even if they haven't watched Wally Kazam might I add. But if I play up the cute and colorful, funny version of the story, I'm allowing the behavior to become a heart issue, that will play out later in her life. The next thing I know, she's 17, taking someone's husband from a wife, claiming it as her own, because it's cute and fun, and yet binding and divisive. She hides it "behind her back" in hopes that no one will notice. And I'm left as a parent wondering "where did I go wrong" and "why is my baby girl so far from the Truth?" When we allow "mischief" to be cute and colorful and full of fun at 2 and 3, it evinces cute and fun and yet habitually awful at 23. Don't be fooled parents. It's not ok. It's our job to nip sin in the bud before it's blooming into full on gardens of sin later in our children's lives. Moving right along. What is Wally? Well he's a cartoon. But he's also a troll. What the heck is a troll anyways? I googled that junk- like any of you would've done, had the answer mattered to you. Well I'll tell you what I found. Trolls are the names given to "creatures" in Scandinavian folklore and Norse mythology. First off, folklore is nothing but stories. Harmless stories. Except that they are lies. Ultimately. And I won't rant what I just wrote above about nipping sin in the bud. But mythology, is another topic on its own. It's giving power and titles to gods and goddesses who are false and made up. The kind of thing that Abraham had to deal with back in genesis, when he burned up the idols in the shop of his family members. Go read it for yourself. Anyways, forget that God says we shouldn't have anything to do with mythology or star gazing, or the like. Lets look at what trolls are from the people who use the word. A troll is a supernatural being in Norse mythology and Scandinavian folklore. In fact, a gentleman by the name of Ármann Jakobsson ...has gone on to study the Old Norse examples of the term troll and has concluded that in the Middle Ages, the term is used to denote various beings such as a giant or mountain-dweller, a witch, an abnormally strong or large or ugly person, an evil spirit, a ghost, a magical boar, a heathen demi-god, a demon, a brunnmigi (or another word literally translated to fox) or a berserk.((or berserks) who were Norse warriors - who are primarily reported in the Old Norse literature to have fought in a nearly uncontrollable, trance-like fury, a characteristic which later gave rise to the English word berserk. Berserkers are attested to in numerous Old Norse sources. Most historians believe that berserkers worked themselves into a rage before battle, but some think that they might have consumed drugged foods.) Wow. That's a lot of information. So let's break it down. Trolls were the names given to giants, witches, evil spirits. The name for ghosts, magical boars, heathens, Demi-gods, demons. Yes, demons. The word brunnmigi, which translates to fox, is not a coincidence. The Bible says it's the "little foxes that spoil the vine". Let's not be fooled moms and dads, into thinking that the little nothing's, aren't actually something's. And beserks? I mean really? If we are to holy as He is holy, we should definitely be slow to anger, and not full of and worked up in rage before we begin a task. I understand that the creators at nick jr. Probably didn't intend to fill homes with rage and mythology- yet maybe I do. But that's beside the point. The enemy is much aware. And he is much at work trying to steal, kill, and destroy the work of God in your homes and children. Let's not be naive in thinking the enemy has a plan, but rather proactive, and taking a stand, to say me and my House, will serve The Lord. Even if it means turning the channel when Wally comes on. Now, hear my heart. This is not a religious rant meant to judge what can and cannot be viewed in your home. But I pray that our eyes would be opened to the schemes of the enemy, and that our parenting would be missional, in the sense that everything we allow in our homes- whether by creeping in or holding the door wide open- is honoring to the Word of God. I pray that God gives is the strength to parent and make decisions to disciple our kids in this crazy world and society we live in. An age where things contrary to the word of God are ramped and wild. And I pray that our children would have eyes for Christ alone. That the ways of this world would not snare or entice them. But that every thing that is pure and holy would draw them closer to the God of the ages. That they would know what to watch, what to wear, how to live...by the Spirit. |
AuthorBri is the mom to four little people, the wife to a gentle giant, and a lover of Jesus. She's figuring out the best ways to parent by trial and error, and sharing her struggles, successes, and stories with you! Archives
June 2018
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