6/26/2015 0 Comments Give Them UpRights. Yours, mine, his, hers....My mind feels like a driving range. Thoughts like golf balls are flying around, at ridiculous speeds, and going every which way. There's not a clear target for them to land, just a broad idea that's in the distance, where they hope to travel. This past week, month- heck 2015- has been a whirlwind. Like a hurricane of disbelief and confusing waves that rip and curl and catapult all living things up from the root and churn them over flat on their backs, beaten into coarse gravel-like sand. I've watched as racism surfaces, terrorism lurks, human-rights of all kinds are bannered and then those same banners are taken down with flame-throwers of hate and "superiority". I've watched as my daughter was ripped from my hands, fellow church friends mourn their daughter's loss, and mass-murders take place daily. Today, social media is exploding with LGBT posts, some harsh and others hoo-rah filled. And in every instance, be it left or right, conservative or liberal, just or unethical- all share a common thread: unbridled tongues. It starts as parents who say "this is the best" for parenting, and shunning others who choose different. It begins with people who hurl hissing words through Twitter, like that will really make a difference. It builds when people like you and I start swinging with our lips, and attacking the wrong enemy. Church: you need to shut your mouth if you've nothing nice to say. And the nicest things we can say- are prayers where we can't understand the language and the Holy Spirit has to do the interceding. (Some of you don't even know what I'm talking about, or you're forming a three-point argument about why that theology is dead today.) I hope you're reading your bible. Because it's a little late to get on board now. There too much to catch up on, and it's only going to snowball beyond what is currently. (I'm only partially kidding. Please read your Bible. Start today if you have to.) Ps- when I'm angry I get sarcastically indignant. Just in case you couldn't tell. The idea of "marriage equality" and "love wins" is a counterfeit. The world is trying to find love in ways they create, because they couldn't find Love - be it because of you and I- initially. I don't know why all these Christians walk around pointing fingers and shaking their heads in disgust. It's the world. This is what the world does. It shouldn't be shocking or appalling. Pick your mouth up from the floor, and start praying for these people. Gay marriage is just the surface. It's pretty and neat and the least of the problems. Because it's bound to get a whole lot worse. So if you're sickened and disgusted now, you'd better close your eyes and just hold on tightly for the remainder of your earthly life, because it has to get darker before the dawning of His new and glorious light! Today is my parents' 28th wedding anniversary. Irony? Eh- I don't think so. I see believing parents freaking out now: "what about my little kids? How can we send them to school? What will become of their generation?" Haven't you read Matthew 24? About how terrible the end will be for those with young children? It's in there, in case you forgot or missed that part. I'm reminded of the Israelites who had to endure the plagues of Egypt. The innocent, called, holy people of God- and there they were among the sick and twisted plot that was created for the Egyptians. They surely had children. Surely there were young preschoolers and elementary aged and teens. All ages, faced the same torture. Can you imagine the first few days, when blood was exchanged for water, frogs were in every crevice, and lice were given free reign? I'd be a little shocked and taken back. I think I would be asking the questions like so many people are asking today: "God now what? Where are you? Have you forgotten your people? It's getting pretty bad out here!" They still had quite a few disasters to go though: flies, death of livestock, and boils to name a few. Utter darkness would follow. Complete and utter darkness. When the Bible says dark, I don't think it means "kinda dark, uneasily seen". No. I'm pretty sure when God said "darkness", that it meant ridiculously pitch black. The kind where you can't even see your hand in front of your face. The kind where fear looms and devours. Especially given the plagues preceding the darkness, which meant, your mind could trick you into thinking anything and everything was a frog, a fly, or infestation of some sort. How do I know? Because when God said "light" in Genesis, it wasn't mediocre either. It was a blast and a bang and all of a sudden light filled the existence of space. (God is light. Only light can create light. You can't create light from something that's dark. So as the world gets darker, just remember, it's because there's less of the true Light in it.) But the Israelites were not forgotten. God was delivering them from the hands of their enemies. And one day, they would receive freedom, and be welcomed to the promised land. Friend, we are amidst plagues of darkness. Not the kind that is kinda bad. Where lying and cheating people run amuck. No- we are at only the beginning of a very dark and fearful time. Death and darkness and the enemy of both are looming and prowling and will devour at every chance they get. But don't be afraid. Hold on to the end. Because the day is coming when He delivers us from the hands of our enemies, and we run as a freed people, and are delivered to a Promised land. When fear creeps and makes you worry, press in. It's a reminder to get deeper with your walk. Take your kids there too. They are more than happy to go with you, if only you'll show them. And the more often you take them, the more they'll want to go. In fact, they'll start to take you and show you the deep things of God, because He is so faithful to reveal Himself to children. At times like this, it's easy to throw stones of accusations. But we need to remember the person above the philosophy. No- I don't agree with marriage between a man and a man, or woman and a woman. No, I don't agree with transgender lifestyles. No I don't believe "love wins" when the Supreme Court rules in favor of such unions. Because I know that's not what real Love looks like. But it doesn't mean I hate or scrutinize the people who do. Or those who signed such legislation into existence. It means I pray for them. It means I beg God to forgive them. It means I mourn the sin and filth of my nation more than I mourn the death of my own child. Why? Because someone else died for those sins. Someone who shouldn't have. And He longs to restore the real Love that's longed for, to the community of people who are trying to create a man-made version. The humor in it is the rainbows being plastered everywhere to promote such love. But there goes another counterfeit. Because the rainbow is the reminder that True Love keeps His promises. The kind that say Love is not self-seeking, and lays itself down for another. If there's ever been a time to pray, it's now. If there's ever been a time to show the lost what Love looks like, it's now. But we can't possibly show them the accurate picture of a Love worth dying for- if we ourselves know nothing about it. So we must dig in, and learn Love. Dig in and be loved. Because when He lavishes His love on me- through His word- then and only then, can I pour out the same love to the broken people in my community. It's time we bridled our tongues and trained them to pray and encourage. We don't have time to waste. He's coming soon. There will be negative Nancy's along the way, undoubtedly. People who harass your stance, and negate your wisdom. People who think the church is crazy for not being "current", or ridiculous for talking about the "end of the world". But our best response in those moments is to either show them the Words of Jesus- verbatim- or to Love them with silence. You don't need to answer the mocker with words. But don't become a coward to taking a stance either. Be encouraged. Jesus is coming. I pray it's soon, but either way, I will pray. Praying His kingdom come- come to earth. Soon. Please Jesus do it. Please Jesus, forgive us. Forgive me- forgive America. Because we need you. There's a hard line being drawn, and it's clearly seen on Twitter and the like: either you are for Love, or you're for love. Don't be confused. Love wins. The other stuff is just temporary, and feels good right now. But it's the same fruit that was picked long ago in the garden, that says "my way is better" and "I know what I want". Lay down those rights. Human rights across the board. Because the human rights this world gives, are man-made. And therefore, can be broken and revoked by man. But when we are given rights through Love Himself, He does not remove them, they only produce life and lasting, and they're more freeing than any Supreme Court ruling for or against your opinions.
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6/24/2015 0 Comments Burn, Baby, Burn.We went to the beach. And I'm sunburned. Not the kind that's slightly pink and kinda cute on your face- the kind that is red and horrid, and feels as bad as it looks. My skin basically thinks all my clothes are hot magma being poured down over my person at all times. My bra straps like knives, digging into my shoulders. I have a doctors appointment this afternoon, so during Adalynn's morning nap, I had to get dressed and such while writhing in pain. As I flat ironed my hair, the residual heat was melting my face off. So, so, hot. As I sat there thinking, like I always do, God started talking, like He always does when I'm quiet enough to listen. Like a good teacher, since He is, the rhetorical questions flowed: "Bri do you feel burned?" My flesh, there in the mirror, red hot, screamed out "Yes!!!" But my heart cringed because I knew His probing was more than skin-deep. "Bri do you feel burned?" As I write this now, my eyes well up with tears. Not because my skin hurts from irresponsible behavior at the beach yesterday. Or even because my soul feels "burned" by God. But because I know that He burns us for our best interest, and there are far too many of us who can't understand that. There are plenty of people- maybe even you- who have been burned before in life. Often it's someone we loved dearly, who now holds the flame-thrower, and we know well enough to stay far away now. Maybe a boss burned you out with relentless shifts, less than par paychecks, and cynical words to cut you out of promotions or even affirmation during a job well-done. Maybe a friend burned you with the lies of deceit and manipulation that caused scars you'll never be able to un-see. Maybe a spouse left you burned, as they walked out of your life- taking all the things you had ever accumulated and achieved for years together, just because the grass appeared to be greener elsewhere. Or maybe God Himself, burned you- in church or through unanswered prayers you prayed. Maybe someone is now lost or gone forever, even though you spent hours crying out to a God you thought would never leave you, and now you've nothing to show for it. I've prayed those same prayers. The kind that seem unanswered, and forgotten, and like you, I too, have been left burned. More than that, my heart has been charred black, and soot and debris swirl above as all that's left smolders to nothingness. I've been burned. Bad. By God. But I'm not giving up. I'm not throwing in the towel. I'm not placing ever-growing distance between Him and I, even though the heat is up, and the flames are hot. No. That's what the enemy wants after all. To place distance...sin in short...between me and my Maker. Between you and the Savior. What if we looked at being burnt in a new light? What if we embraced the heat, rather than crawling away from it? Because the hottest fires are the ones that burn away everything that's dead and terrible and not of value in me- and leave only what He has carefully crafted left. Only what is eternal remains. Gold can only be refined through intense fire and heat. Friend, our tendency is to back away when things get hot. Like my skin now reminds me, the sun is bright- and even in some partial shade, I still feel the scathing heat from its rays. In life we often do the same. When circumstances become hot and unbearable, and the feelings too strong and overwhelming, we seclude ourselves far away from the source of the heat and trouble. But I would encourage you to press in. Get close. Let the fire that feels like it's overtaking you, do just what it wants to do. Because amidst the blazing furnace is the Great I Am who will never leave. Isaiah 43 tells us that He will be with us when we go through fire, and we will not be burned. How can He be with us if we never experience such fire? We must dare to travel to such a place of discomfort, that He can be with us, and rescue us from the burn. If you've been burned, he can, like sweet cooling salve, wash over you and treat your wounds and make them new. Or if you're unsure, and you now say you'll dare to go to that place of fire, try Him, because He will not fail you. I'm not nearly done yet, but I can assure you that I've come too far to go back. I've experienced too much fire, too much heat, too much pressure to want out now. I have only the choice but to continue to allow Him His perfect way in me. I've been burnt- my flesh and my strength and my attempts at righteousness are now burnt to nothing but dust. But I've been burned- on an alter of sacrifice, where dross is purged and gold remains. Where eternal is lasting and the unseen is forged. And I'm so very thankful. Thankful that amidst the fire, He has been there. Thankful that against my will, He continues to make me more like Him. Thankful that He burns away everything that's vain and unworthy to make me worthy of bearing His name. Thank You, Jesus, for the fire. There is beauty in the burning. So burn, baby, burn. 6/19/2015 2 Comments Empty to FullThere's an empty car seat that sat in our master bedroom for the last few weeks. It's not because I was creating some sort of "memorial" out of it, but rather that my bedroom in general is the last place I clean and tidy, since my door can be shut and everything hidden behind it in a hurry. The car seat was moved to the garage today. Part of my flesh wanted to scream that life isn't fair. It shouldn't be empty. It should be full and heavy and awkward to carry because a small baby should've been inside. But there isn't. Its empty. So. Very. Empty. It reminded me of words I've heard often as I've grown up in church. Words said by the angel that guarded the tomb as the women came to see Jesus' body. Expecting to find the one they loved much, and instead they found the same: emptiness. Don't be afraid. He isn't here. He has risen, just as He said. The thoughts and feelings of those girls were probably a lot like mine have been some days. Where life seems unfair, and someone they loved dearly and felt as though He wasn't around long enough, was gone. Their hearts undoubtedly as empty as that tomb. Often, we can't rationalize such feelings of emptiness, because we weren't supposed to feel them to begin with. If death entered the world through the sin of one, we weren't really ever made to experience the process of grief in the first place. A lot of people can't handle it. Or they think they can, and they try to fill the "empty" with something. I don't have the energy nor the digital space to write out how, in detail, to be someone who actually supports someone through loss. But I can give you some general thoughts on the topic. The last few weeks, both Paco and I have received an outpouring of sympathy, empathy, apathy....the list goes on. Gifts and words of encouragement, and words not so encouraging. We've had a lot of people who have tried to put something in a place where "empty" now rests. First and foremost- I want to say this post is not targeted at any one person. And we are not angry or upset with anyone. Honestly, we've done everything we know to do, to assume the best in everyone. Knowing full and well that you each have our best at heart- or at least we are trying to be naive enough to think so. But as someone who has so recently walked a road of hardship, and knowing others have, and are, and will certainly also go along the same way, I wanted to communicate some of the do's and dont's of "comforting" others. We all- myself included- have no idea what to say or do when someone experiences death, loss, tragedy of any kind- and rightfully so- because we are foreigners to this process. But in light of the last few weeks, I wanted to encourage us all in how to handle such scenarios, with extra grace and frailty. I am by no means an expert. I still have much to learn. But I can offer some respite for the people who've lost so much, by offering everyone else around them, insight into what is really needed, and really not needed in that season. So here it goes! 1.) As believers, we DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH THE DEAD. I don't care who or what or when you felt prompted by the spirit to think that was ok, but let me tell you, that according to the Bible, communication by anyone, through any means, to anyone, and for any purpose, is NOT of God. The spirit that would try to tell you that you have a message from a person who has passed away, for someone else, is a spirit that isn't of God. As much as I miss my daughter, as much as I wish I could still hold her and nurture her, I do NOT worry or wonder about her care and condition now. I rest assured in the faith and hope and promise of Jesus Christ and His redemptive work on the Cross, that says she is whole and worshipping in the inner courts of the Father Himself. Please, please, PLEASE do NOT allow yourself to be caught up in such a false and evil scheme of the enemy. He is lurking around waiting to bait you with hyper-emotional and hyper-spiritual experiences, in hopes that you'll feel temporary comfort. This does NOT comfort a believer in the slightest. Rather, they are left to think you are crazy, and need a serious intervention through prayer and fasting. 2.) If you suck at cooking, don't cook. Yep. I went there. But seriously. If preparing food isn't your thing, there's always a delivery or take-out service, if you insist on food being the vehicle for your comfort and thoughts. There is nothing worse than having a terrible day, mourning the loss of a loved one or horrible event, and having to stomach down terrible food that tastes pathetic and choking it down because you know you "need" to eat, even though the best food in the world would be unappetizing in those moments. Do everyone a favor, and just don't. 3.) Don't TRY to be there if you're not usually there. I can't tell you how irritating and annoying and genuinely repulsive it is, to have long-drawn-out hugs from people I have no relationship with. It's one thing to hug someone who has been walking through hardship, it's another thing entirely to hold them against their will, and "whine" out a "how are you? Really?" As if to expel emotions that aren't there. If we didn't have a real, and ongoing relationship prior to the heartache, my life-crisis, isn't the time for you to join into my life-journey. FYI- It screams "I'm nosey and curious and just have to get a piece of this pie!" Just don't. 4.) BE IN THE WORD. Finally, something you can do. I know, I know- it seems like it's counter-productive. But honestly, as a believer who has been walking through some rough days, I can tell you, discernment levels go through the roof. If you've offered words of encouragement or hugs or conversation, and you're not regularly in the word, your words are draining the life out of me and my family. It sucks our energy, like a leach sucking blood from our veins. When someone is full of the Holy Spirit and has the Word of God permiating their physical self, it's like an intravenous breath of fresh air. Get your face into His word, He will give you the words to say- directly from His book of Wisdom, and they will be LIFE to whomever you're speaking with. 5.) GET ON YOUR KNEES. The same is true about prayer as it is about the word. When you genuinely take time to pray for us, the Holy Spirit does a supernatural knitting of our hearts. Don't ask me how, but I know it to be true. People I don't normally relate well to, people who typically annoy me because of differences in personality- it all fades and the Spirit of Christ- which dwells in them RICHLY encourages me. The opposite happens when you say "we are praying for you guys!" And you're really not. Don't worry, you don't have to say it or admit it, because we know. Not because we can judge your heart or read your mind- but because the Holy Spirit is seriously the giver of Life, and unless He builds us up- you're laboring in vain. 6.) Just ask. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to scream at people for beating around the bush with Esther. She was real, ya Know. She lived and was with us. She has stories and things for us to share. There is nothing worse than someone hunting around out of curiosity, and blatantly ignoring reality to "tread light" for our sake. It's more of a disservice to us, when you think we can't tell you or don't want to acknowledge her. If you want to know what happened when she died, just ask me. If you want to know how I'm feeling today, just ask me. If you want to know what my favorite thing or least favorite thing about her was, just. Flipping. Ask me. I will gladly tell you. Because just like my other kids, she is near and dear to us, and we love to share all of her stories just like we love to share the stories of the other kids too. It's really ok. Don't be scared. Just ask. 7.) Not every day is a bad day. I think people assume I will be walking around with my head hung low, for a good, long time. I suppose some people do this longer than others, but I don't have time to go into why. But I will say, that I am honestly alright. Most days I am fine. Yes it was tragic. Yes it sucked. No I would never want anyone ever to have to bury their kid. It's terrible. But life goes on. I will still have to get dressed and take care of my self and my kids and our home and our lives. If not, I would be seriously medicated at this point, and thank God I don't have to be! Solomon said it best- there is a time to mourn, but there is also a time not to mourn. So please, when my hands are full of four other kids, and I'm rummaging in the diaper bag for a snack for one of them, and my phone is ringing and the baby is crying, don't try and get me to have a "sit down" with you about my feelings. I'm really not going to even try to cry and be upset in those moments. Because honestly, I don't have the time. 8.) not every day is a good day. It's funny the things that become triggers. But usually, at least for now, when something triggers my emotional heartache, I'm gone. Like for the rest of the day. I become a basket case. Everything makes me cry from there on out. If I'm crying because I spilled coffee on the floor, or because it's raining, or because we are two seconds late, or because I'm tired, or because I don't like my shirt color- it's more than that. It's because really, deep down, I'm having a pitty- party, and am just all around sad or angry or both. I will dig myself out. But seriously- don't start asking about it. I'm really trying to get it together and maybe salvage whatever mascara is left on my lashes, and your probing makes it worse because my answers come out in the form of tears. Just shut-up. Because 9 out of 10 times, I will probably just start talking and blabbering on and will eventually tell it all to you anyways. 9.) I don't want to hear your glorified grief story. Seriously. I hate it when people feel like now you're in a "club", because all of a sudden you've both been through something tragic. If that's the case we should all have sashes and badges and a handshake and a pledge. But we don't. Because that's sick and demented. They have groups for people like that, at shrink offices and AA groups. But not for me, and not in public. Just because you've experienced hardship or death or any sort of pain doesn't mean you have the right to go around gloating about it. Me either. We should be glorifying Christ THROUGH the pain. I can't even write all the details here, but I will say this: when your circumstance becomes bigger than the God who delivered you from said circumstance, you're really in idolatry. Get over it. And praise Him. 10.) Praise Him. I know, I sound like a broken record. But really. When things seem hard, for me or you, praise Him. When death seems big and impossible, praise Him. When sadness or sorrow overtakes you, praise Him. Because when we do, things change. You, me, the person next to you, all have the same resurrection power inside of us, and it can bring a weary soul from death and grief and loss, to rejoicing and gladness and life again. When all hope seems lost, praise Him. When I see things like that car seat, or even people and their hearts, it can seem hopeless. Because it's empty. And I'm sure that when Mary got to the tomb that day, she was feeling much the same. But because of the empty grave, there is also an empty cross. And I am so very grateful that the cross is empty. Without the empty cross, I would still be hanging there. Dead to self. But instead, I'm alive in Christ. No longer empty, but full- full of His love. Full of His joy. Full until He comes again. 6/9/2015 0 Comments From the DirtI had just washed my hair, and blown it dry, AND flat ironed every last wrinkle out of it. Now, it was drenched in sweat, and dirt, and full of frizz from steamy humidity that surrounded me as we worked. Yard work is difficult. It's strenuous and it requires all sorts of energy that I just do not possess. I typically don't do yard work. I typically don't do any kind of physically exhaustive work, to be honest. I get plenty of "activity" while parenting four small children at home all day....every day. Sometimes I wonder how many miles I walk, or how many pounds and reps I lift in the course of a typical day. But I don't think I really want to know. It would either be completely too low of a number, or much too high. Either would add another element of stress to my life that's neither wanted, nor needed. The girls and I had gone to Lowe's to get a few things for the front of the yard. I'm not a landscaper by any means, nor do I try to be. In fact, it was more of a "thing to do" for the kids this summer. I had a gift card to the store, so I didn't really feel as though I would be loosing much if the investment turned out to tank. I let the girls pick their "own" flowers (from the cheap section of course) and that was a story in and of itself. We must've walked every aisle of the garden center, nearly 17 times. Teaghan could not choose a plant if her life depended on it. Maybe one day she will create a hybrid flower that's just the right shade of purple. Because Lowe's apparently did not meet her criteria in all of its selections. "Not too dark and not too light" she said, "with just a little blue at the bottom." I shook my head as I wrangled her away from the giant trees and shrubs, costing well over the amount on the gift card I carried in my mint, leather wallet adorned with a giant bow (see I'm not really the yard-working or outdoorsy type). She searched high and low finding the perfect flowers, and eventually settled for what I think is heinous and ugly, but I was so beyond walking through the hot outdoor section of the store that I quickly agreed, and marched to the cash-register...located inside with the AC. This morning after breakfast, we changed into grungy clothes, acceptable for working with dirt, and pulled back our long tresses, and went outside. Wes followed with a bag of toys, and Adalynn sat in her canopy-covered pack-n-play with a water-juice cup in hand. I was envious of her the whole time. We drug all the plants we had purchased to the section of the yard where we would be planting, along with the tools we needed: a few shovels, the 16 quart bag of miracle grow potting soil mix (for all of us brown-thumbs), and a large container to water. ( we don't even own a watering can, nor would I spend the money on one at this point!) I started to dig. The area for flowers at our house is mulched, and like most SW Florida homes, the dirt beneath is mostly clay, rocks, shells, and sand. The shovel wouldn't budge. I pressed harder and still to no avail. Thick roots from all directions prevented the spade from penetrating the earth. I searched for a branch-clipper-thingy in the garage, and found a pair of wire cutters that would suffice. Clipping and picking at the tangled mess of wire-like roots, finally, shell and rock were the next obstacle. The girls quickly tired of the task of digging, and Teaghan and Wes went inside to watch TV, and cool off with a drink. Adalynn was ready for her nap, so McKenna and I finished the seemingly, never-ending job. One hole after the next, sweat poured out of me. I didn't even know I was capable of such fluid perspiration. McKenna had drips falling from her nose. Our hands were tired, and covered in dirt. My manicured nails looked like they'd been used by a mechanic, with dirt and filth under each one and between the folds of my skin. McKenna had sand and dirt brushed across her red-heat stricken cheeks, in her hair, on her clothes. We were finally ready to actually "plant" now. The holes had been dug, and around us lay eight, 6-inch-deep holes, barren, and waiting to be filled. McKenna scooped fresh, self-feeding-soil into them, and then carefully selected a plant for each hole. One at a time, she carefully grasped the plant- firm but gentle, and began to tug. It would slide from the transport container from the store, and into her hands. She then broke up the roots that had been trained to grow only in a small space, and to the shape of the disposable containers, as the soil they clung to, fell to the ground. Into their pre-selected hole they went, and then she filled all around them with more nutrient-rich soil. "Pack it down, and make sure they're good and tight" I said. "We don't want them falling over when the rain comes later." Cape Coral has thunderstorms with big rains in the late afternoons, through the summer. If we didn't pack the dirt tight enough around the new plants, they'd surely wash all over the yard in a few hours, like the mulch in the areas near the driveway. Something neither her, nor I, wanted after all the work we had done. She pressed and forced dirt down onto the plants base, and at one point shrieked and quickly jumped back. "AAAAAHHHHH!" She screamed. A small bug was burrowing in the dirt she worked with. I explained that the bugs were needed to help break up the parts of the dirt that aren't best for plants, and how they then return the better "goods" to the soil when they poop. McKenna winced at the thought of bug poo on her hands. But quickly realized how perfect the system was. "God made them do that, huh?" I nodded. He certainly thought of it all. I sit now, staring through the front window near the door, waiting. I know it won't happen tonight, or even this week, but like any good gardener (if I can even call myself that) I check on the hard work, and hope and pray it's fruitful. The Holy Spirit, faithful as always, spoke to me today while toiling in the soil. Even the Bible gives us the analogy of a sower and his seed, and the example of God as the Vine and also the pruning gardener of the vineyards. But today, I was nothing more than a clump of dirt, and He was gracefully reminding me that His ways are always, always good. Like those plants, selected especially for a specific place and purpose, we are hand-picked. He knew and still knows the plan He has for us. At some point, and probably again for all of us each day- our hearts have hard, clay and sand filling. Full of shells, and debris not good for growing anything. But God in His loving kindness, digs away at them. He doesn't tire, He isn't sweating like I was today- he just keeps at us. And I'm so grateful. Even when roots cover the places He wants most- and usually from things not even related to where He's working. Like the roots systems today that covered yards of ground before ever finding the source. He works hard to trace and remove even the most complex of strongholds in our lives. Then, like those holes, we can feel barren, and empty. Naked. With nothing inside. Like He has stripped us of all we had, and for what? But in His goodness, He comes along with His word, and He fills the holes with nutrient rich soil, that's good for growing things. He deposits something new inside of us- and not just a wimpy small container-sized plant. Nope. He starts shaking us so we can expand and grow into something much more grand. Sometimes it feels like He's shaking us and ripping us up. There are times when he is pouring dirt down over us, and it seems unfair. There's times when He presses and presses and won't relent until He has pressed dirt all around us. In our human-ness we complain and struggle with understanding why He would ever do such a thing. Or why He would allow the pressure to continue. "God why me?" "God why now?" "Why not the other way?" "What is the point?" "How can this ever become good?" "This is Your plan?" But He knows that when the rain comes, we will be standing firm through the storm, because He has pressed all the weakness from around us in His time. We can feel like there are pests and enemies scurrying through our life and taking all the things we need from us, like those bugs in the dirt. But God has a system all worked out. And once again, it's so very good. He uses ALL things- even the things like those pesky bugs, the scary bugs, the harmful ones- to make us into something even more beautiful. And He sits back, like any good gardener would, and He admires His creation, and He waits for us to grow and produce much fruit. Maybe you're lacking fruit today. Things like love and joy and peace. They're all things that He plants within us when we give ourselves to Him. If we are lacking in any of these areas, we've not fully allowed Him to work in us. Allow Him to prune you. I know I need to allow more always. Allow Him to press you. Allow Him to dump His word on you and make you lack no good thing. Maybe you're dry. Drink up. He made water come from the rock for the Israelites. He will certainly shower down rains of refreshing on you in seasons of drought. He sees and He knows and He is not far off, as high and lofty as He is. He is good. Maybe you're being pressed on all sides. Maybe like me, you're being pulled and prodded and adjusted and bruised, wondering if it will ever end. But friend, we are just being planted, that we might be able to weather the storms of life when they come. He won't allow us to become uprooted, if we allow Him to have His perfect and complete work in us. Oh God, complete Your work in me. Only when we deny His Lordship and resist His work do we spread across the pavement in the midst of adversity. Like mulch that's good for nothing and wasted after a heavy rain. It's swept from the walk-ways, and pushed down into a gutter and forgotten. Heaven help me never deny You, Jesus. He is the Master gardener, and His investment is much more steep than that of a measly gift card at Lowe's. He gave flesh and blood for you and I, and sent His son to pay the price for our freedom, that we could be planted and bloom in His garden. That one day, the world would see such beauty and smell such fragrant scents that they'd stop and take notice of His work, and His workmanship, and give honor and glory to the One who is worthy of it all. Thank God He is so good! He has a plan. He is working it out in you- and certainly in me. We are nothing more than dirt. Piles and piles of filthy dirt. But with Him- and only with Him- can we produce something more and of worth, like the flowers sitting outside of my house. One day, we will return to dirt. And the only things we will have to show for our lives, are the things we allowed Him to grow in us. Allow Him. He wants to. So allow Him. If you're reading this: allow Him. If you're typing this: allow Him (that's me!). We all need to allow Him His way, because it's so, so, so very good. “I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn’t bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken. "Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can’t bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can’t bear fruit unless you are joined with me. “I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you’re joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can’t produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples....“I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy complete....You didn’t choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won’t spoil." -Portions of John 15 Unless you're blind, you've seen the flood of images and headlines on TV, social media, magazines, regarding two of the biggest "controversies" today. One is a man who thinks he can "buy in" to being a woman. (And all the women laughed.) The other is also a man, who is being scrutinized for offenses committed over a decade ago. I won't post my thoughts about either here- though I have lots of them. Because the point is not for me to judge one or the other. My job is to weigh my own life, my own actions, through the weight of the Word. Does it mean I disregard either? No. Far from it. I can get the information and knowledge, and I can apply it to my own life, my marriage, my parenting. And that my friends is called wisdom. Because Paul the apostle tells us that knowledge can only "puff up". And that's what has happened to the media, and all the people engaged in either story. Everyone has acquired buckets of "knowledge", be it true or not (since the web is so reliable), and opened their mouth about their opinions, and has stopped there. The real question we should be asking ourselves, is "what about me?" Bruce Jenner (nope I won't even entertain the spirit behind the "change" by calling him another name), and Josh Duggar are modern-day mirrors, if we will let them be. Regardless of your stance, regardless of your religious affiliation, or your die-hard conscience, they are examination "tables" for you and I. But instead we've all made them spectacles. We can see an example of this in John 8, where people of all kinds, the religious elite and the business lay persons, encircle a woman. She's caught in an "act". What her "act" is called, means nothing. The point is Jesus gave us the example that none of the persons standing around throwing accusations, or stones, was in the right. Whether it's a woman from John chapter 8, Bruce Jenner, Josh Duggar, or you and I, the point is, we should be reading our own hearts before someone else's, since proverbs makes it clear that they are "deceitful and wicked" and none of us can even know them. I'm sure at one time or another, you were in that circle yourself. I know I've been. My "act" was a big red letter and my sin on display. The enemy likes to make billboards of shame and draw circles around us of accusations, to paralyze us. That's one of the biggest reasons the church is ridiculed by the world: because typically we line up with words in hand like stones ready to heave. And the non-religious do it too. In fact they're aim is actually better. They don't throw quite as many into the ring, but when they do, it's sharp and to the point, and it cuts like knives. I remember standing there, alone, with all types, "Christ-followers" through atheists, with rocks in hand. And I remember when Christ broke through and made the circle dissipate. And if we are true followers of Christ, we should do the same, and walk. Walk away. And say nothing. Maybe Bruce needs Jesus to enter into his circle. Not maybe- I know he does. And Josh the same. Because shame and accusation and guilt show no partisanship. But you and I now on the outside of the circle need to drop the stones, and examine ourselves. Because but for the grace of God, there go I. Or you. Or any of us. It doesn't mean I agree with everything that is done or that the "acts" in the center of the circle are excusable. Far from it. It just means my shame was no different, and I'll be the first to clear a space for them to walk away from the circle. The enemy will torment them enough. He will bruise and rip and tear and slice away at the dignity of both men, until they've reached nothing but a bottomless pit of hopelessness and depression. And God will be the only source to rip them from such a place, and I pray they both, find Him there. But in times like these, my job, and your job is to examine the hearts in ourselves in hopes that we not fall into the same traps and demise as they. Ask yourself the hard questions. Face the hard reality. Because none of us is exempt from either. Their sin may look different than yours, but it falls into the same three categories of them all: the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. I guarantee Bruce didn't wake up one morning to say "I'm a woman". He gradually broke down through many mornings, until one day he grappled with such a question. Josh didn't wake up one day and say "today I'll molest my sisters." He thought about and made choices one by one that lead to a road of destruction. What is the small step you've taken today, yesterday, that's put you in the motion towards sin? Because anything gratifying self, and contrary to the Word, is a step in the wrong direction, and the start of a road that leads to waking up one morning with a giant revelation of who you've "become". Don't be fooled, or you've come to the edge of a dangerous cliff that points directly to where these two men are. Jesus forgive me for reading and talking about it all and not questioning myself and my heart. And forgiveness for you. Lord help us to look inward before throwing rocks at people just like us. |
AuthorBri is the mom to four little people, the wife to a gentle giant, and a lover of Jesus. She's figuring out the best ways to parent by trial and error, and sharing her struggles, successes, and stories with you! Archives
June 2018
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